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Hope you enjoy these past newsletters. To receive them each month, please fill out the form on the Home Page. (Please remember
that when you steal from one person, it's called plagiarism. When you steal form two or more, it's called research.
When you quote any of the written materials that follow--tell'um where you got it! Thanks. B.E. 4/2010 Be • Do • Have So if the easiest way to have success is to copy it, the key is determining what qualities are the ones to be copied. It’s one thing to look like success by copying the trappings of the “having” – the car and home, the toys and entertainment that may really be beyond affordable. It’s a quite different focus to copy the “being” and then the “doing” which ultimately create the “having,” which is the ability to say “YES” to that desired lifestyle… and to afford it. First we must BECOME the person who will DO the things that create the HAVE. Be. Do. Have. That’s the order for success. How often have you seen someone in a race for success act in this order: GO! SET! On Your MARK? They start working, then take aim, then decide to organize. It’s like they’re firing a rifle, before aiming, and aiming before being in range. Fire, Aim, Ready is not an order that creates success. And so often, they wonder, after all the activity, why the goal eludes them. So what are those things that are to be copied on this journey to any particular goal? Simple. Copy the beliefs, the syntax and the physiology of those who have taken the success path before. Right now, let’s look at the syntax, the order in which things are done. Here’s a clue: Go-Set-On Your Mark, and Fire-Aim-Ready are not the magic formula. While it may seems obvious that strategic planning be a requisite for a successful new business, acquiring good study skills lays the foundation for being a top student, and casting a shared vision for the future is core to creating enduring, quality relationships; the number of failed businesses, mediocre students and broken marriages indicate that what may seem an obvious truth is often not the path chosen. So, for many, while the idea of doing the preparation first settles in as an AHA, an “of course,” or an “I know THAT;” the seemingly contradictory ideas of spontaneity, gut feelings, and trusting intuition rear their heads, screaming, “Well, what about us!?” So which is it? Shall we plan our every step following those who teach, “People don’t plan to fail, they fail to plan,” and ignore our gut screaming, “Shoot, NOW” although we haven’t yet aimed with care? Or do we follow those who say to use intuition and take the road less travelled? The answer is: both have a place. It becomes apparent that preparing our SELF first, the who we must BE, in order to act in the direction of goals is the foundation for the journey. This gives us the ability to DO what comes our way in support of our reaching those goals. The result is that we can HAVE those goals at which we are aiming. Make sense? There is a magic formula and it’s BE-DO-HAVE. So the preparation for the journey is not an agonizing over the what-if’s and details that can’t be known anyway until the journey is begun. It is the preparation of the self who is about to take the journey. Who must we BE in order to do what will be required? Who is it we must become in order to keep our eye on the prize regardless of the challenges that may reshape the journey and test our resilience? Who must we be in order to enjoy the process and live it with the understanding expressed by the philosopher, Gabriel Garcia Marquez “everybody wants to live at the top of the mountain forgetting that how we get there is all that matters.” And I add that it is who we’ve become in the climb that is the accomplishment larger than the goal itself. Some years ago my wife, Nan, and I spent months traveling through India. Some of this was spent in an ashram where extraordinary teachers from around the world had come to teach various disciplines. We were like kids in a candy store excited about all the possibilities. Sitting with the counselor, we worried we’d make the wrong choice, pick the wrong class, miss the best teacher, the coolest experience. Seeing our anxiety as we stressed over what was the future, unknown and to be lived, the counselor calmly advised, “Don’t just do something, sit there.” What a concept! Get in touch with where you are and who you are first. First, simply and consciously, BE. That simple truth for me was an epiphany that remains. It is a basic concept that we have all heard repeated in many ways for many purposes. It was my moment for getting it. Slow down; be with your Self. When the right self goes on the journey, there are no wrong decisions. Become the person for whom the classes will be perfect, the journey an adventure, arriving at the goal is unquestioned. Preparing the self first, BEcoming the person who will focus and create whatever it takes to get the job done, and lighting a burning desire in the belly allows for spontaneity in the direction of the goal. This is not the spontaneity that is a distraction or a justification to loose sight. When the self is prepared first for a goal that is made a MUST, the “gut decisions” are those of the gut of a person on a mission. There may still be butterflies in that gut, but they fly in formation. All intuition works to support the realization of the goals. We have readied ourselves. We have aimed for the worthy goal. We don’t know how the details of path will look, but there is no doubt that the goal in mind will be achieved. This purposeful, prepared SELF ignites passion. There’s a wonderful, well-known image of taking a long trip by car. You’ve chosen the destination. You’ve prepared your belongings, your time, your money, your enthusiasm and you begin. Only you don’t see your goal other than on a map or in your mind’s eye. All you really see is the 200 yards of road before you. And 200 yards by 200 yards by 200 yards, the details of spontaneous choices – which gas station, which meal, which music, which thoughts, which vista you select become known. And, as you trusted yourself to arrive without seeing the exact path’s details from the beginning, arrival at the destination is absolutely expected and no surprise when it happens. So how do we prepare the Self who is about to make the trip? Surround yourself with those who are models of the success you want to copy. And whether the goal is business, sports, relationship, art, you may model leaders from other businesses, industries or worldviews. It is the characteristics of leadership we copy. Why leadership? Even if the goal is solitary, the Self on the path is the inner voice that leads us, decision by decision, to the dream. It is the core of leaders’ beliefs, the syntax or order of action and the physiology that you want to study and to master. If you know great leaders, study them. If you don’t, you can still get close to them: Read biographies and autobiographies to find leaders’ habits. Watch and read what leaders watch and read. Listen to CD’s and download MP3’s of trainings when leaders speak. Note what they believe. Pay close attention to their excitement, courtesy and how they project their vision. What did they do to get you engaged? Copy what inspired you in order to continue to inspire yourself and others. Pay attention to details of their excellence. How do leaders act when there are technology blips? How do they treat support staff? What do they say about others? For what and how do they express gratitude and appreciation? Are they the most excited and the most serious in their world? Do they believe they chose to be excited and serious because they were successful, or did they choose to be serious and excited in order to create that success? Are they positive in the face of disappointment? What sacrifices do their sacrifices inspire you to make? Are there things in their behavior you’d like to do better when your success is in motion and a model for others? When preparing the SELF, copy success. And how do we internalize this quickly? Like any muscle is strengthened by repetition, Learn to relax and repeat it. We know that what’s easy to do is also easy to not do. Do it. The benefits are extraordinary in many ways. Dopamine is the neurotransmitter that produces positive feelings and helps in the decision making process. When relaxed, the activity of the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain where we evaluate and sometimes over-think, is slowed, and the part of the brain that produces dopamine is stimulated. Making decisions from your unconscious gives a different perspective to the whole decision making process. Learn from me or from somewhere, but do learn to switch gears and slow down the mental apparatus on command. The relaxed mind is the most fertile ground to plant the seeds for growing who you want to BE in order to DO in order to HAVE. 4 Steps to Prepare your SELF and create who you are to BE: 1. Set the scene: In a relaxed state of mind, create the picture of a movie screen across the room from you. Imagine you have a remote control device in your hand and push the play button. 2. Relax freely: To create the momentum for your thoughts, see where you are, even if stuck, in any process now. Let your mind follow any thoughts that come. Don’t judge. Don’t try to make sense of anything. Just let the feelings, pictures and/or sounds happen like you were watching a movie. This is something you do all day and in most of your time in REM (dream) sleep at night. And as in our dreams, the pictures may come as metaphors, or symbols of what they represent. Let the scenario play out without your judgment. Don’t evaluate what you are seeing and feeling. See the pictures now; evaluate them later when you have awakened from the relaxation into which you have drifted. 3. Turn your attention to the end of the film in which you have achieved some goal or life dream. Notice who the person is that has achieved this goal. What are the leaders’ beliefs this successful person has demonstrated with consistency? What were the habits, the disciplines, the attitudes, and the order with which tasks were done? What is the physiology you see? What are the posture, the tone of voice, and the overall appearance? This is you having accomplished your goal. What grace and vision carried you through hurricanes that reduced them to light rain? Now put your face on this image. Over and over, practice seeing yourself as this person performing the tasks in your daily life. 4. Awake Refreshed and Ready. Bring yourself up to full consciousness by taking 5 or 6 deep and refreshing, belly breaths while telling yourself you feel fine and wonderful, refreshed and ready. Rehearse / Review: Hindsight is 20/20. Consider the options that presented themselves to you in a relaxed state. Rehearse your SELF by repeatedly visiting this studio and this film. This is how you BEcome the who you must be in order to DO the due and to get what you want to HAVE. There is nothing to lose and the possibility for gain is proven. Allow yourself to set yourself for success. Now, On your MARK-Get SET- GO! Ready-Aim-Fire! Be-Do-Have! Congratulations for making your time here and thank you for investing it with me. (Seminar follow up--If you haven't sent me your list of goals for your personal CD, no rush, but the sooner you get this powerful tool, the faster and easier you will see positive changes.) (Sample, no obligation, test drive coaching sessions are available to you for the asking. Ask.)
Warmest Regards, Barry Eisen Tel: 818-769-4300 Fax: 818-980-8181 11684 Ventura Blvd. #747 Studio City, CA., 91604 1/2010 Focus and Concentration She seemed so
in charge of her balanced life. So I asked my student, this longtime, top producer, exactly how she managed to
juggle so much and so well. Her response was the same I've heard repeatedly from achievers over the years, "I learned
how to really concentrate." When the vision is clear, braking down specific goals or tasks becomes easier. The ability to concentrate on single issues at a time becomes do-able and the success
process becomes easier to control and duplicate. The basic theme you hear from pro athletes at the peak
of their game is the same you hear from great parents, teachers, students, scientists, realtors, doctors, communicators etc.
They share a view that it is never the glitches, setbacks, disappointments that hold a person back, but rather the message
the person assigns to those events or to any distractions. Stuff happens. How we choose to view and respond to
these happenings determines whether we move away from or toward our personal power. Many
don't feel they run their life. They feel their life runs them. They use others' actions and opinions
as well as their own experiences as excuses for what they choose to do. It's like using an out-of-town guest as an excuse
to do no work, as if the guest is pointing a gun and saying, "Take care of me every moment or I'll shoot." Or,
we see external changes over which we have no control, like an interest rate change, and suddenly some find the way they sleep, communicate, project the future, view their colleagues or even their family, changes too. We've all been cut off in traffic. The
driver who did the cutting, whether intentional or inadvertent, drives off focused on his destination. But how often
have we, the ones cut off, invited that long gone, other driver to live, rent-free in our head? Learning to "let go" is not a
just some random concept. Letting go is a way of coping with our distractions and disappointments
in a healthy, productive way. Letting go is about focusing elsewhere, by conscious choice. We don't let go by saying,
"I don't want to think about it." That's like highlighting with a yellow marker the very thought
we want to avoid. Imagine a teacher directing, "OK class... don't think of a purple elephant.... large orange ears
flapping in the breeze." What did you see.. even if you tried to "let go" of it? Yet, there is a way
to let go and it's simple. We simply turn our attention to something else and keep placing our mind exactly where we
want it to be until the mind gets the message. The mind learns by our repetition that we're serious and in control of
the DIRECTION of our attention. Imagine allowing all distractions and challenges to do only one thing: to serve
as a reminder to focus and concentrate on those ideas and things about which we CAN do something, and towards those things
that have value for own highest, most exciting, magnificent, "worth-it" goals. And the great news is - this chosen FOCUS and
CONCENTRATION is a way of responding and behaving that can be practiced and learned. Here are a
few simple tools to "get 'er done:" 1. DO the SESSIONS. One way to establish excellence in focus and concentration is to practice the relaxation and self-hypnosis sessions I teach in seminars. When
you relax your mind (relaxing your body is great, but relaxing your mind is the key to excellence), many distractions may
pull at you. As you keep bringing your mind back to your chosen focus (positive affirmations, imagery), like a puppy
gets the message when you gently and consistently repeat,
your mind gets the message and learns. Do these training sessions with yourself and just like muscles in the body, your
mind gets stronger and more disciplined. Practice directing your mind to those acts and abilities you want, for example
reading fast with perfect comprehension, giving clear presentations that are on target, being inspired by rejection
or intimidating tactics of others, prospecting with confidence, experiencing memory that accesses with ease the images and
details that serve, playing fluid, powerful, golf, being relaxed and confident taking tests, etc. Being "present" or "in the moment" are not just phrases. Like letting go, they are skills which can be learned and perfected for
a better way of performing. 2. ASK
YOURSELF the MILLION DOLLAR QUESTION. Another way of practicing
the development of focus and concentration is to, throughout the day, ask yourself "Is what I am doing the most beneficial
thing I could be doing, right NOW?"
Write this question on a 3x5 card and carry it with you for
a couple of weeks to ingrain the sense of control you really do have over your time and energy. Don't wait to be moved
by this little reminder. If the answer is "Yes," continue doing what you're doing. If the answer
is "No," pay attention and take action that moves you NOW to your best use of your focused attention and resources
of time, energy. The beginning of any process of change may be erratic and uncomfortable. It is also totally worthwhile. Look at the people who you think "have
it together" and you may not necessarily find the most gifted or brilliant, but you will likely find those who choose
to "shift gears" smoothly and be totally present. Copy success. Copy their best attributes. 3. CELEBRATE
VICTORIES. Think about it: Confidence in this area of developing focus, like confidence about anything else
doesn't necessarily come from belief or faith, it comes from creating victories which we acknowledge. Start from wherever
you are and show yourself what you CAN do. When you do something well, avoid the trap of thinking "It's no big
deal." Acknowledge successes, little or giant, as of equal value relative to your ability to have success. What's
small to you may be huge to someone else.. and vice versa. Celebration of each success, without judgement of its size,
continues to move us forward while creating a new habit. This is using our power and strengthening the habit of concentration. The practice
of self hypnosis will greatly facilitate your ability to focus. One of the definitions of self hypnosis is Heightened Awareness. If you commit yourself to practice a couple of sessions each
day, within two to three weeks you will find some very interesting shifts in concentration and consciousness take place. Learn
how, do it, celebrate your successes, benefit. Start NOW. Please take a
look at my CDs that can help you focus in your business and personal life and prepare you to have the best year ever. The choice
is always there and the choice is always yours.
Warmest Regards, Barry Barry
Eisen Developmental Excelerations Inc. 11684 Ventura Blvd. #747 Studio City, Ca. 91604 818-769-4300 fax 818-980-8181 IF Only... THE Extraordinary Moment There’s your beginning. How does the rest of your story go? If you could write your own eulogy, what would you
write? What would be the significant decisions, events, places and people of whom you'd speak? What moments were missed, relationships not pursued, opportunities
not explored? Where did you “settle” rather than opt for the passion? Where did you get stuck instead
summoning energy to move ahead? Where did you make a difference? No ones life is either
completely this or that. What would be your significant images? What would you choose to remember? For years, I've asked of many, "Is there anything that you regret or would do differently if you had the
chance?" Initially, often comes the superficially positive, “If I had it to do all over again, I’d
do the same things... no regrets... it's all been great... a learning experience... I'd make the same choices, yadda
yadda.” And for most, it's nonsense! That first level of response is like the automatic "I'm fine”
to an casually tossed "How are you?" When we delve deeper with, "If you could rewrite your
life, what would you change?" and we allow time for reflection, responses become more thoughtful. And now
pours the stuff that therapists hear all day long. Nan tells a story
of meeting a financier when she was in her 30's and he was in his late 70's. She asked why, with his considerable success,
was he taking her program in personal growth and success as she had less than 1/2, at least in time and business, the life
experience. He offered, "Years ago, when some of my friends began to age, experience illness or die, and I had
the privilege of spending time with them, I asked if they had anything they regretted... and ALL of them
said that they regretted far more the things that they did NOT do, then the things they did." He'd decided to
never limit himself with the words "I know that" and to stay open to what presented itself as new idea or perspective.
He saw that in her and encouraged her to say YES to life's big opportunities and smallest moments. I keep his wisdom in mind when I prepare CD's designed to support the next phase of anyone's life. So
I ask, "If you were looking back on your life from your death bed, are there things you would like to have changed? To
what did you say "No" and wonder "IF ONLY... ?" Would you have paid more attention
in school, stood up to the bully, returned the phone call, tended to a relationship, been more giving, practiced your
faith, taken a chance on the stock or business opportunity, said yes to the concert, read the book, spent more quality
time with kids, family, friends, or said "I love you?" Hindsight is great, and the best part is,
we don't have to wait to have it. And with your desire and sincere intent, THIS can be THE MOMENT that creates your
absolute satisfaction and joy when it's your time to look back. This moment can be the one where you decide to implement
the use of the CD and its personalized vision. This is THE Extraordinary Moment as soon as you say YES to it and allow
yourself to tranform. Obviously there aren’t do-over’s in the
actuality we've lived A day lost, gone or invested is a day lost, gone or invested. In Hollywood, rewrites are possible. Here's how we do it in our own scripts. We not only
have the opportunity to create ourselves differently in the time in front of us, but, in THE Extraordinary Moment, we can
choose a perspective that serves us even considering our past experience. The past is not fixed. It's as
kaleidoscopic as the memories and perspectives we choose of it. Rememeber, it's never what happens that matters, it's
how we view it that empowers or disenfranchises us from our goals. So, what DO you want instead? You can’t live a single day over
but you can write a better script. Who and how do you want to be when you grow up? What’s it going to be
like for you and those who experience you? If the best way to predict the future is to create it, what do you want the
future to be? When is NOW the best time to make it happen? 'Tis the time of year to reflect and take inventory in setting your course. You don’t need the three ghostly apparitions of Scrooge to take you to the past, present and future to impact your life now. It’s not hard to make the changes happen, but it does take some planning and follow through. Abort IF Only! Systems GO: The Extraordinary Moment! Here's how to create the rest of your time by your conscious design.. it's a perfect time... time for the Personal New Year Revolution. Here
are 5
KEYS for getting back to or creating a life by choice not chance and HOW to use them. 1. Set goals for 2010 that stretch you. If you're comfortable, chances are you're doing things the way you've done them so expect the same results. If you want more, you must BECOME more First. • Create a life plan like a business plan. Dream big. Make your dreams into MUST. Imagine them fulfilled. What would it be like with no regrets? With excitement? With fulfillment of knowing you gave your best? • Make a PLAN. Write EXACTLY the steps you need to do to get where you want to go. Some things will change as your journey unfolds. Be flexible in the steps while locked into the vision as a MUST. Don't work on focus--work on the goal fulfillment, focus will develop itself when the dream is a MUST. •Get used to feeling uncomfortable. It’s the feeling of growing, of being alive. • Be specific
about your wants. Put them on paper. Short term and long, once you write them down your consciousness
and your decisions during the day change as your dreams become priority. • Chunk them down to make them approachable and doable. • Set a goal date for each accomplishment creating a sense of urgency and focus. • Follow through and show yourself what you can do, not what you can’t. If you haven’t been consistent in the past, use those negative feelings of falling short to move you to create a better reality. Move past the lazy or challenging stage and when you find resistance, see it for what it is (another step in the process) and continue on. Distractions come in many forms. All distractions are equal. All give you the opportunity to show yourself you can decide over and over in the direction of your goals and dreams. This IS personal growth. 2. Choose Relationships with Care: Select your partners, friends and mentors well. Whom you choose to spend time and thoughts with will help shape your decisions and life. To whom are you giving the keys to your life? You are known by the company you keep. Pay attention to the time and mind vampires. More distractions. 3. Learn more. First, learn more about you. Make Personal Growth a daily DO. Your business will never grow more than you do. Read the popular business books and autobiographies of those with accomplished lives. You can’t pick up a bad one. It more depends on where you are and what you think you need. Trust that book or tape to which you are attracted and read it like it matters. • Take classes and seminars with a mindset that says—“I’m new, I’m teachable and I’ll use what’s important for me.” Learn more about your business. When you’re green you grow and when you’re ripe you rot. Stay fresh. Keep your head in the game. • Act on any great idea NOW... even if only a small step in its direction. 4. Take care of your HEALTH • SLEEP: Improve your sleep patterns if you have problems there. Poor sleep impacts not only energy levels and health by compromising the immune system, but slows down the process of learning according to recent university studies. • NOURISH*: Learn and choose to eat better each day. You probably already know a lot of what you need to know, but with the changes in our food supply, real nutrition is harder to find. Do for yourself what’s right, not just what’s easy. Start with small victories and keep making better decisions. Form the right eating habits. Your energy, health and quality of life depend on it. • EXERCISE: Rust never sleeps. Stay ahead of it. Don't like to exercise? Do it anyway. The alternative to moving is not very attractive. 5. Learn to relax. There are lots of different ways, from meditation, yoga, self hypnosis, it’s all good. And it’s even better when done with consistency. To be able to switch gears, slow down and gain perspective is what highly effective people do. The use of visualization especially in a relaxed mental state has been used by athletes, students, those in pain and business people to facilitate change many times faster than would ordinarily be experienced. You don't need to reinvent the wheel. Use what has already proven itself to work. Copy success.
The life that you have is a life worth paying attention to and enjoying. Each day as you create your memories, these suggestions above can be the tipping points that matter. The economy will not determine how good the year of 2010 will be. You will. You can go kicking and screaming or you can go with ease, style and grace. It really is about choice. Choose well. Please contact my office to explore programs, coaching and CD programs that can make a difference for you in 2010 and for the rest of your life. The life that you have is a life worth paying attention to and enjoying. Each day as you create your memories, these suggestions above can be the tipping points that matter. The economy will not determine how good the year of 2010 will be. You will. You can go kicking and screaming or you can go with ease, style and grace. It really is about choice. Choose well. Please contact my office to explore programs, coaching and CD programs that can make a difference for you in 2010 and for the rest of your life.
We wish you the happiest, healthiest and most interesting year ever! The Season's Best from our Family to Your Family, Barry, Nan, Erin, Andra, Abby (the Beautiful Boxer) Tel:
818-769-4300 Fax: 818-980-8181 11684 Ventura Blvd. #747 Studio City, CA., 91604 * for
those of you interested in nutritional support, wellness or weight loss, you may contact Nan for a FREE Wellness Evaluation.
If you worked with her in years past, you know, her experience and focus are a gift for you and yours. The value is
huge. weight loss: www.321BestDiet.com general info and Free Wellness Evaluation: NanEisen@roadrunner.com October,
2009
PAIN IS INEVITABLE — SUFFERING IS AN OPTION Who are the groaners in your life? You know the ones I mean. They are the ones who moan waiting on line at the bank or supermarket. They bitch and complain over every rejection when prospecting. They make faces when the overworked server isn’t zipping to them on roller skates. In traffic, they squirm in their seat, extending a middle finger while shouting obsenities which only they and their own passengers can hear. They are stricken at the natural passings of life as if only they were marked for grief or loss. Do they believe that low mutterings speed lines? Haven't they ever learned that restaurant guest behavior and extra kitchen saliva or missing fries go up in direct proportion? Do they expect Moses to respond to a middle finger salute by parting the 405 Freeway for their ease? Do they not realize that the drivers at whom they are shouting leave never thinking of them, while their own blood pressure and that of their loved ones/passengers are put at risk? Do they not see the privilege in being with another when it's their time to pass? These are, of course, the same folks who impatiently tap their feet when the microwave "reheat" that would have taken 15 minutes in another day and age must be tolerated for, gosh, a full 75 seconds. And they are those who still curse at a phone and the entire Third World while on hold waiting for that world to offer up words of tech or customer support wisdom they need and for which they hope. Welcome to the world. And if you have been among those described as "THEM," or whether you have allowed yourself to be either annoyed or entertained BY them, remember: Change YOU, Change YOUR world. Whether you like it or not this is planet Earth, our very own global experience manifesting always, in the privacy and discomfort or comfort of our own mind. In the 60's Timothy Leary encouraged a generation to “Turn on, tune in, drop out.” The goal was a life of consciousness unbound by the limitations of believing that goals, like the front of the line, were more important than the process or the state of our attention while in the line itself. The "turn on" was a call to psychotropic drugs which were seen as THE way to get this freeing of ourselves from the cartoonishness of our lives, wasted in anxiety of getting to the next moment. The "tune in" was into higher experience and awareness of the NOW. If you were going to be in a line, and this line was to take a precious moment of your life, WHY NOT be present and enjoy this line, this moment? The "drop out" was a "Do Not Enter" sign to living life as a rat-race and a call to creativity and living full out. Then came the 70's in which many of those same followers of this idea of "dropping out" of the craziness without using the drugs which Leary advocated, began their search for other means to "tune in" to life's possibilities while enjoying the process to the fullest. After all, how often could the events which "made us crazy" or "stressed" in our daily life make us roar, laughing, when seen in a comedy or sitcom? So it's not the event that stresses, not the traffic that angers, not the undefinable accent at the other end of the phone that frustrates. It is our perspective, our choice, of how we are going to think about it, what we choose to believe and what we select as our action that determines if pain becomes suffering or not. And so we had the mass awakening of the 80's. People turned to consciousness programs, meditation, yoga and self-hypnosis. The search for going inward easily, for living without the kicking and screaming while still getting things done and better than ever, was ignited. This was of course not new to mankind, but it was new for the masses. So as we look around ourselves now, isn't it interesting to see how many still choose to do “IT,” their life, the hard way? And just what about the man in the mirror? Granted, on occasion a little !!&$%##**%$@! feels warranted to the most enlightened among us. A little venting can be a great release and a cleanse for the body and mind. But when MOST of the bumps on life's roadway are met with !!&$%##**%$@!, and !%%&*$#!@! last too long, and impact the energy of those with whom we share a space, it just may be time for an attitude adjustment. And making that adjustment is doable and easy. It’s about CHOICE. Not all things are controllable, of our choosing. Pain happens. Our opportunity is to decide how we want to act with that pain. Suffering is an option. Whether we choose to see the pain as a wall, an endless line with no hope for our turn, or as a door, something through which we move and from which we can like ourselves as we look back on how we behaved, is our option. So without psychotropics and with the highest intention of living a life worth living, of vision and service and fun, of calm and peace and commitment, of love and joy, we have the ability to bring joy to the person next to us in line, to extend gratitude and a smile to the server, to laugh at our situation while still wading through it, and to bring gratitude for the ability to give a hand to another who's in transition. It's easy to feel great when all is easy. It's a measure of character to choose to feel great and grateful when the challenges mount. It's often said that most behaviors are shaped before the age of 10 and the cues and clues come from parents, friends, teachers, coaches, movies, people in our environment, the internet, social networks, chat rooms, TV sitcoms, blogs, the nightly news, etc. The patterns we copy can create high blood pressure, heart disease, stress that leads to overeating, nervous disorders, misplaced aggressions, hostilities, learning dysfunctions, premature boredom, premature death, drug use, low energy, poor libido, etc. Those behaviors can also change by our single decision to create ourselves as we choose, AS IF we had other, different influences before that tender age. We have the power to pick a new view, replace the pain, and thereby instantaneously CHANGE OUR WORLD. And the best part is - we can make the change in a heartbeat. We can choose in any instant, right now, an identity which serves us to "drop out" of old habit patterns that do not serve us into our joyous future. The gift is not just that we have the power to be, but that we have the power to choose to be of our own design. We do not have to be our history. We can trade knee jerk reactions for new responses coming from our highest selves. Is it important to focus on where we are going instead of allowing the past to be a post to which we tie ourselves? Absolutely. The past does not have to determine the future. So, what if your dad did get angry at the microwave, kicked the cat? What if you have? We all know how to ACT like failure, anger, fear, withholding and loathing. Watch any 3 year old playing with trucks or dolls. Remember, the suffering we felt that caused us to act was only our interpretation of the event. Is the future destined to be the same play? No. Because we also know how to ACT like compassion, interest, curiosity, excitement, fun and love. Here are some skills to make a positive difference for you and those around you right now. Some you may allow to be immediately YOURS, done. Others you may choose to incorporate as a process. It's been repeatedly proven, any habit can be changed in the instant you allow, or practicing for 2-4 weeks will establish it. Using self-hypnosis will make the learning easier and faster. 1. Relax on demand. Learn to lower your pulse and blood pressure at will. When you are not in stress filled situations, practice establishing a sense of calm so that at a future time of need, you can draw upon the skill. If you’ve been through my classes or seminars, you know what to do and how to make it effective. Get into the habit. If you are not using a system that works for you, take a look at my website, www.barryeisen.com for help. 2. Be in the moment. Pay attention to what is happening through lenses that have vision to the future. When deciding your course of action, take the higher road connected to that vision of who you want to be and become. The decision you make will affect your NOW and your future. This is not just about the repercussions of the decision, but how also how to support you in defining your identity, as well as establishing the pattern with which you make future decisions. 3. Don’t sweat the small stuff. It’s not all small stuff, but a lot is. Put situations in perspective to the longer term vision. Here is the benefit of proper goal setting. Perspective! If you don’t know how, feel free to look at my website for concrete and powerful ideas about long, short and daily goals that will keep you focused on what is important. 4. Create YOUR space. Diffuse the stress and that overwhelm feeling which can build up due to clutter, procrastination and time wasting. • Gain a sense of control of your life by cleaning up where you live, and work. A little time and attention each day will get results. • Devote 10-15 minutes every day to organizing bills, files, clothing etc. • Keep your car clean and neat for your own sanity, if not for clients or family. • Make a complete TO-DO list at night, prioritize it and follow through. 5. Celebrate and Fix. Review your activity and behaviors. Celebrate the steps in the direction you want to go, no matter how small. Ask yourself what you could do differently as you consider what to incorporate or fix to set your next week. 6. Smile more often, even if you have to fake it in the beginning. Eye contact with others and an appropriate smile will trigger endorphins for a good natural high. Do it often and your mental state changes for the better. Don't be too surprised if you start attracting positive people and situations. Who would you rather be around, someone who looks comfortable with themselves or someone who may very well emotionally throw up on you? 7. If you've been the chronic Harrumpher, either learn how to control crisis situations better by learning to relax at will (see bullet point 1) or, for the next 2-4 weeks, wear a loose rubber band around your wrist. If you feel you are about to “loose it,” pluck the rubber band, take a deep breath and the anxiety will probably pass within thirty seconds. Pain, used for good, is a great distracter. Intercede in your normal pattern of blowing up or whining and you will find yourself making better future decisions of behavior. 8. Attitude vs. aptitude. Remember your Attitude determines your Altitude. Become less judgmental as to whether what you're going to do is “hard” or not. Accept the fact that it is what it is. Take the drama out of it. Attaching a hard label to anything will make it less enjoyable, heavier and more difficult to learn or do. NIKE is right—JUST DO IT. Much of teaching is said to be the action of walking up information the listener/reader already has. So in reading the above, if you find yourself thinking to yourself, “it’s true,” “I know that,” “I used to do that,” let that AHA! moment move you to making a meaningful shift or two. When a good idea hits you, take as immediate an action on it as you can. Use it, own it and celebrate your growth. Please pass this on to friends, relatives and associates. Thanks. Warmest Regards, Barry Eisen Tel: 818-769-4300 Fax: 818-980-8181 BarryEisen@roadrunner.com www.BarryEisen.com 11684 Ventura Blvd. #747 Studio City, CA., 91604 Sept., 2009 THIS MESSAGE IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE WORD "YES" This is a great time of year to practice using the powerful word " yes." What a word! Just think: Lack of decision stops more success than most all factors combined. So what if you say “Yes” to some new adventure, flavor, experience in your life; and it doesn’t work out? . . Statistically YOU”RE STILL AHEAD. . . because you made a decision. The very act of making that decision moves you forward even if the results are not what you’d hoped for. You get the chance now to practice picking yourself up and going out to play (make another decision). This is the practice that is necessary for growing and continuing success. . And when it works, that “Yes” opened the door to the richness of new experience, adventure, flavor and feeling and people you never knew you missed but feel so ALIVE to have in your life. Practice saying “Yes!” often. Say it privately to yourself, your kids, spouse, friends - and publicly to large groups and even in the presence of strangers. It immediately shows you to be the fun loving, risk taking bon vivant to whom people are attracted, charismatic, a leader. Remember, at the end of life: people regret far more the things they did not do, than the things they did do. Most people don’t plan to fail, they simply fail to plan. Plan your regrets carefully. Or plan not to have them – say YES. Say "yes" to the possibility of magic, to a curious exit when you're driving, to a new kind of music, in bed, to a sensation you've simply not allowed time. Say "yes" to a book, a play, a debate, a seminar. You are always the winner for doing so. You can't benefit from the book you don't read, the play you don't see, the debate you don't hear or the seminar you don't attend. Say “yes” when you are alone (in fact say it out loud right now just for the practice). yyyyyeeeeesssss. It even feels good to say it, doesn't it? The world opens to those who say "yes." Say it again just for good measure ... There, don't you feel better? When you say it correctly, a smile comes to your face and the seven muscles it tales to create that smile trigger the brain to flood your body with natural "happy chemicals" (endorphins) making you feel good all over. And while it is obvious that you can't say "yes" to all things at all times, hasn't your life almost always improved, become richer using the word "yes" compared to using the confining, limiting, non-joyous alternative "no?" The word "yes" has authorized me to share with you a few random thoughts you may find interesting, useful, or perhaps ridiculous. If you seen some of these before, this time, give up the "I've seen that, I know that," and slow down and think about what you are reading. Attitude is a choice It is more important to be kind than right Blame is really: blame-me Intimacy is really: Into-me: See Surround yourself with those already happy Forgiving is not for them; it is for you Goals are dreams with deadlines Whatever were your results, were your intentions No one can make you feel inferior without your consent A lesson is repeated until learned You train others how to treat you by how you treat yourself I hope something(s) mentioned above has made you smile or say "hmmm” – stay with it - and personalize the thought for a moment. Then take action or make the change that matters. Please do pass this email on to your relatives, friends, associates and clients. Warmest Regards, Barry Eisen Developmental Excelerations Inc. 11684 Ventura Blvd. #747 Studio City, Ca. 91604 818-769-4300 fax 818-980-8181 www.barryeisen.com barryeisen@roadrunner.com August 2009 What Else Can I Do Now? We all get “stuck” once in a while. The “stuck” part generally feels bad. We may feel lost, afraid, immobile and seriously looking for divine intervention. In fact, this feeling of being out of control probably brings many people closer to God than any preacher ever could, as in, “Oh, God, if you help me out of this one I’ll never curse/smoke/cheat etc. again.” But, as all things come to pass, isn’t it also true that when you get back on track and through the tough time, it’s not the situation that stays in your mind over time, but the style and class with which you did or did not handle the situation? When you took the high road in resolving a relationship issue, when you made the better decision to improve the performance in your business, when you decided to stand up for yourself in a meaningful situation; these are the character building moments that help define a life lived well. Once again the old truth is that it isn’t what happens in life that matters, but how we decide to handle it that either empowers or disenfranchises us. Making judgments out of frustration when we get “stuck” shows our limitation and emotional immaturity. When we feel stuck and are offered answers through a friend, mentor, book or seminar, it is typical for many to say, "I know that" and ignore possibilities. That little three word statement "I know that,"will close the door to seeing things in a different way. Why not look at every training, seminar, inspirational writing or idea offered with a fresh openness? A far better way to move ahead, solve the problem and show some character is to ask a question such as, “What else can I do now?” Really good therapists, coaches, teachers and parents don’t try to solve the problems of their clients, students or children. They ask questions to let the client, student or child discover for themselves, not just the answer to the existing dilemma, but to discover and use the potential problem solving ability that each of us has within. When you ask the question, “What else can I do now?” and you get the lazy response from within, “I’ve done all I can,” ask yourself, “If there were something else I could do, what would it be?” Don’t let yourself off the hook so easily. Resist the tendency to be lazy and cave in. Only when you ask yourself what more you can do, will your mind provide you with an answer. For those of you who have heard me speak in classes, seminars or at business conferences, I always suggest learning relaxation techniques that can be used to create physical energy, facilitate learning of new habits and attitudes and to exercise the creativity and problem solving abilities of the mind (right brain stuff). Without taking the time to sell any new readers of this newsletter on the virtues and values of learning and practicing this proven idea, just take a few minutes to relax and then ask yourself “What else can I do now?” and watch how much better the flow of ideas come. Closing the door to thought will always stifle creativity and growth. The next time you come to a dead end, notice your thinking process, relax and ask yourself a good question. You will be amazed at the options you come up with. Show yourself what you can do. Soon you’ll be doing this exercise automatically and well. Use this idea often to challenge and get the best from yourself continuously. Please do pass this newsletter on to those in your address book. Chances are you will receive a “thanks, for the thought.” Warmest Regards, Barry Eisen Developmental Excelerations Inc. 11684 Ventura Blvd. #747 Studio City, Ca. 91604 818-769-4300 fax 818-980-8181 www.barryeisen.com barryeisen@roadrunner.com July 2009 Memory and More Ever lost anything? Ever heard a more ridiculous question? If you are beyond the age of two, chances are you've lost plenty. And not just things. How about names, critical pieces of conversations, whole stories of books and films you once loved, key moments of childhood, life experiences or images of travels? What or how much would you like to retrieve and how much would you like to control your retrieving? And when the memory comes... like when you stumble across those keys and find that, not only have you found the keys, but a rush of memories floods you and you are suddenly clear as to what caused the keys to be just where you found them? Or, has your memory been jolted by a smell, a single note of a song, an old photograph that literally transported you to some distant past with such clarity that other of your senses and emotions were strongly triggered? You're suddenly "in" the backseat of that car with a single note, "in" your gramma's kitchen with a single sugary scent, or find yourself laughing or crying with the intensity you had at the time of that photo. If we're old enough to have a past and if our senses are working, it's happened to us all. These memories are forever in your cells. Experts say that unless we have some form of physical brain impairment, our memories can continue to get better as we age, not worse. An active mind that constantly is stimulated by new ideas, making decisions, in other words, paying attention, has very little to do with whether the person is 10 or 80 years of age. Attitude and involvement are the main ingredients. New finds regarding the elderly show that those engaged in word or number games (mental exercises) stay more alert and energized, slowing down the aging process. Even the memory experts who teach association techniques acknowledge that the chief reasons for poor memory are 1) we never paid attention to that name or conversation in the first place because we were so busy thinking about what we were going to say next or, 2) we have told ourselves so often that we have a lousy memory, that this phrase became a self fulfilling prophecy. Words are powerful, whether positive or negative, and they shape our behaviors and attitudes and belief systems. Want to improve your memory? Simple: Use these following ideas for a 30 days. You will have found something valuable and best, duplicatable. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. 1) When meeting someone: Make simple, conscious effort. • Get eye contact as they speak their name and repeat it out loud as you shake their hand. Give the topThe physical anchor of touch will help to imprint the name. • Associate the name with any visual thing about them. e.g. my name is Eisen, so you might get a mental picture of my eyes way back in my head. The picture, the more ridiculous the better, will be remembered long after the sound of the name has faded. The key is PAY ATTENTION. People have everything you want: love, respect, opportunities, referrals, information, wisdom. Respect them with your attention. Be present by learning to be quiet and an active, attentive listener. The adage "Use your ears and mouth in direct proportion to that which God gave you" will help you retain more details from any given situation. 2) When reflecting on your memory: Always be positive. Avoid what my wife calls "the Neutral or Negative Game." That's the game where when we do something well, like remember something, we consider it small, "no big deal," unworthy of attention or reinforcement. Yet the same "small" memory if forgotten, somehow looms large in our judgmental inner voice both reminding us of, and reinforcing our frailty. The reality is that everyone forgets sometime and if viewed as a single event ("I have a great memory and I forgot something") rather than some impending disaster ("Senility is setting in fast"), the experience can remain AN experience instead of THE experience or state of being. Most people don't pat themselves on the back when they remember a name, details of directions or complex processes easily done on a regular basis. Yet, when those same people forget some, even small thing, they often resort to personally directed anger, self deprecating frustration or humor. If you've fallen prey to this kind of limited thinking, it's easy to shift with a little practice. Here's how: When you do remember, allow yourself to have a little internal celebration, "I DO have a great memory. Look at all I can handle and stream." When you don't remember something: • Let go of the need for sarcastic remarks like "I have the world's worst memory," and • Avoid self deprecating jokes such as "Oh, it's my memory: as you get older it's the second thing to go," or "If my head weren't attached to my shoulders, I'd lose it." This easy access to sarcastic humor is usually a coping or defense mechanism. The intention may be to make light of a perceived failure or loss of control, yet in reality the sarcasm simply reinforces the the limitation. It may seem easier to make a joke and move on than to take an instant and say "I have a great memory." Either way, WE GO WHERE WE LOOK... and if our gaze is on our perceived limitation as our identity or who we are in that arena, or if we focus on our strength and see the limitation or failing as momentary, as an aberration from our identity creates destination and our path. We will take the path of more bad memory with every lost thought as evidence of our weakness, or we walk the path of memory riches by allowing a lost memory to be just a simple bump in the road. The effect of our words by our own inner voice, the most powerful voice for us, creates a self fulfilling prophecy. There will be negative reinformcement and its collateral damage weakening memory or positive reinforcement, supporting our growth for future memories to be enhanced. The key is IT'S NEVER WHAT HAPPENS THAT MATTERS, IT'S HOW WE VIEW IT THAT EMPOWERS US or DISENFRANCHISES US FROM OUR POWER. 3) When moving through your day: Play little awareness games. Pay attention to details that catch your eyes and ears and review them through the day to keep them fresh and available. It's obviously not the minutia that may matter. It is the willed attention that is strengthening the discipline of focus. Even beyond developing the discipline of learning how to focus and concentrate, you are creating little victories. Confidence comes from creating victories and the more confident you are the better you feel about your mastery of your focus and of your self. Ah, and this IS the stuff on which self esteem is built . 4) When you do focused relaxation and learning sessions like those which I teach in my classes or simply relax for a few minutes a time or two each day: Program your identity. Take advantage of the greater suggestibility of your relaxed mind to program a thought such as "I use my photographic memory to retain and recall all information instantaneously and accurately at will." Imagine yourself in conversation, recalling information and fluidly communicating it to others. Throughout the day you will be prompted to show yourself what you can do rather than what you can't. Results develop gradually but surely. The common wisdom is that it takes two to four weeks to establish a true, positive and permanently set new habit. The time you invest is a small price to pay for the results you will get and have for the rest of your life. Please pass this along to family, friends and associates. Thanks. See my website for support in other areas. Like to sit into a class or seminar? Email or call for locations, dates and times. A personal hypnosis session and/or personal coaching may just what you need to get on track and take your game/life to another level. Find out by emailing or calling. Warmest Regards, Barry Eisen Developmental Excelerations Inc. 11684 Ventura Blvd. #747 Studio City, Ca. 91604 818-769-4300 fax 818-980-8181 www.barryeisen.com barryeisen@roadrunner.com June 2009 SHOW UP! PAY
ATTENTION! TAKE POSITIVE ACTION! Ever felt stuck?
You know what to do, you know you’ll do it well, but you just can't seem to get out of your own way. Paralysis
by analysis has destroyed the best of intentions and cost the most brilliant their success. Ever see yourself passed by someone
with a fraction of your ability, talent, and caring... and then notice their accomplishments exceeded yours only because they
were “there.” While you were thinking about GETTING INTO action, they were "there" BEING IN action.
The world is filled with talented, well intended people. Who moves the world while creating their own world are those
who not only plan, but Show Up, Pay Attention and Take Action in the first appropriate moment. Never EVER leave the
site of a great idea without doing something to move towards it's fruition. Certainly the planning and the execution of a plan are two separate things. Whatever distractions we have available to us as excuses for self-sabotage (are we grown up enough to admit that?), the skill of consciously directing our ATTENTION to that GOAL, that WHY, that PLAN can keep us fully on track and in ACTION. Focusing on the goal, being vigilant and committed to reaching that goal with a No Matter What, WhatEVER It Takes attitude, encourages us to replace those distractions and excuses with the ACTION to make our dreams realities. It's simple: WE GO WHERE WE LOOK. Of all the talented students, athletes and business people I with whom I have had the pleasure to know and work, it is the most successful who not only begin their journey with a clearly defined a plan to create it, but who also continue to execute that plan with great focused ATTENTION and consistent ACTION. Behind, under and around that plan is your dream or goal. Your having a clear REASON, a PURPOSE, a WHY to reach your goal, along with that clear plan helps keep a positive focus on decisions with which you’ll be faced and choices you’ll need to make. The most successful develop the habit to choose to take action NOW. To repeatedly answer your inner mind’s question, “Shall I make the call now or later?” with a clear “NOW,” helps fulfill the promise that 50% of success is simply showing up. In keeping with the KISS, Keep It Simple (Sweetie or Stupid) principle, I offer the following: Show up. Follow through with the priorities on your To-Do list as if you were happy to do them. Most people talk themselves out of doing things rather than into doing them. Instead of focusing on ALL the work to do, the calls to make, the people to deal with, etc., stay in the simplicity of the current moment. Half the battle is showing up. Most people don't show which gives you the competitive edge. Most business comes down to doing the numbers. Nothing sexy, just the numbers. Even a blind hog can find an acorn once in a while. Start a task with energy, a smile, good posture, a positive attitude and the momentum of presence begins opening doors. Pay attention to your options and choose carefully in line with your goal. Communications is said to be approximately 90% non verbal. How well do you listen/pay attention? Can you get your ego out of the way long enough to hear another person's story? Do you ask interested and interesting questions? What is really being said? No one cares how much you know until they know how much you care. Ask, pause to hear, address the issue with care. Your memory, your patience, your attractiveness (your ability TO ATTRACT!) increase. Most people are fragile, including even and in particular, those who display harsh exteriors. Most posturing comes from fear. Relax and tune into your instincts. Don't make everything a struggle. Surrender to each moment and allow your higher self to observe your experience. Let your strength flow within it. Take positive action. To be in the moment and empathetic yet not to initiate action, promote the next step or ask for the order is an exercise in futility. You showed up. You payed attention. Here is where you ask for the referral or order, set the next appointment date. This can be for a social get together, your child's next step, a travel plan, a review of parties' next work, whatever small step is next in the plan. If fear holds you back from taking decisive action, ask yourself questions such as, "If I already were a great decision maker, what would I do and how would I do it? What would my physiology be? What would my voice, posture, tone be?" Also consider "What is the worst thing that could happen if I get a rejection or the answer I don't want?" Reality is: then you'd know and could make your next decision based on the reality, not the imaginings, of the now. Evaluate the "risk/reward ratio" and learn to make decisions and act on them with confidence. Confidence is developed by creating victories. Don't over think situations. Execute instead of analyze. Learn to weigh the facts and make decisions more quickly by practicing decisiveness. "No" keeps doors of opportunity and interest closed. Learn to say "yes" to opportunities that will stimulate, educate and engage you, even and especially if this takes you out of your comfort zone. After all, your comfort zone is where you've been and, unless that will satisfy you for a lifetime, you want to get out and STAY OUT of your Comfort Zone. All of your dreams and goals are little steps outside of your comfort zone. Baby steps will do. You decide the size of the step and the direction. Teaching is said to be waking up information the learner already knows. I hope this newsletter is timely in that it stimulates you to do somethings differently and better than had you not read this far. Kahlil Gibran said, "To know, yet not to do, is to not really know." Go do! I would love your feedback on the above…or any other topic of interest. For support in these areas and more, do check out my CDs. They represent practical approaches to making positive changes in your life more easily and efficiently and quite economically. For me to come out to address your office meeting, conference or convention, or for business/personal private coaching please call or email my office for details and availabilities. Thanks for reading. Please pass this along to your family, friends and business associates. Warmest Regards, Barry Eisen Tel: 818-769-4300 Fax: 818-980-8181 BarryEisen@roadrunner.com www.BarryEisen.com 11684 Ventura Blvd. #747 Studio City, CA., 91604 May 2009 Relationships
'R' Us I’ll bet you know someone who can make a whole room full of people happy just by leaving, and you can as easily bring to mind more than one person who can light that room by entering. We've all seen those who go unnoticed or find it hard to make connections. And there are those charismatic leaders who, like magnets, draw to themselves interesting people, opportunity, life. Have you considered what creates those gaps in performance, experience and outcome? What precedes the actions that promote those results? As usual, it's awareness of Choice and making an upfront Decision. Much of success in life has to do with whom we attract, our people skills and the alliances we make. More positive is said about those with great people skills than about those with almost any other characteristic. These are people who seem genuinely interested, truly care and authentically appreciate others. Not the least of our significant opportunities is the ability to choose friends and business associates wisely. Specific business and life goals, the plans to reach those goals, the willingness and passion to follow through and bring those goals to fruition are, of course, factors that will contribute to our success. It is said that as we mature, it is the quality of our relationships, not the simply the victories, toys or money, that we most cherish. A client of mine, a very successful and dynamic realtor shared with pride his dad's teaching, "Be good to people. They have EVERYthing you want that matters." Choose those with whom you spend your time, wisely. Attracting and developing relationships is key. It is often the quality of the relationships of a particular time, whether from school, vacation, transaction or project, that we recall long after the details of the class on "The Deaths and Divorces of the Many Wives of Henry the 8th," the paint color, the actual conversations have blurred. Friends and associates are chosen and maintained for a myriad of reasons. Some are chosen for shared, similar interests that support beliefs already held. Others are created as a reach to those who have different interests and so stimulate new thought or action. There are those "uneven" relationships in which someone with more skills, understanding, accomplishment reaches "down" to those who haven't quite gotten on track in order to, either feel superior by comparison or to help uplift. Others reach "up," surrounding themselves with those of more accomplishment in order to be inspired. Although simple pleasure is certainly enough to support relationships of limitless value, there is time to play and time to be serious. How do you chose your mentors? People whose families do not play instruments, tennis or excel in math go to a piano teacher to learn the piano, a tennis pro, a math tutor. It's easy, logical, even obvious to understand. Yet often people loose sight of the basic tenet to choose models in other areas of life wisely. Do you equally weigh the input of family, friends, and anyone with an opinion on a subject with that of a valid expert? Do you consciously seek those who have successfully accomplished what you would like do? Would you consult the couch potato watching "The Biggest Loser" or the fitness expert about exercise? Would you ask the overweight how to lose weight or seek the fit? Do you trust the insight of someone who has all the answers and no money, or do you consult a top producer with evidence of success in order to enhance your own growth? Are you willing to pay for the value you seek? Have you offered to take the successful to lunch on your dime, to trade time to assist them in return for picking their brain to improve your financial skills? Choose relationships well. The people you choose to be in your life will impact how you use your time, how you make decisions, how you do business, what values you hold and more. Here's a quick litmus test. It's said that our income is the average of the 5-10 people closest to us. True for you? So how do we change our income? We can elevate ourselves by surrounding ourselves with people who function at a higher level so we become the average of higher numbers. How? Simple. Use books, tapes and consciously chosen coaches and mentors. Copy their beliefs in the areas in which you want to copy their success. So if you have the most loving parents who've been broke for a lifetime, copy their beliefs in parenting and get other coaches for your finances. Two elements of a successful life are timing and associates. Avoid those who are proud of how they beat the system and make time to be with those who've "done the do" and done the due. Make time for those who really listen and respond with care and support. Even better, BE that person NOW whom you want to attract, and watch the quality rise of the relationships you magnetize. You want a great love relationship, ethical clients, great listeners and teachers? Become first. Be the characteristics you want to attract. Expect and watch interesting opportunities arise, and enjoy the fun you have along the way. So how do we create ourselves in ALL opportunities to be THAT person who lights the room? 1. We recognize that we have the choice to bring our desire to be our ABSOLUTE BEST to this and every moment whether we are the student, the peer or the mentor. 2. We choose with care who we are, with whom we play and from whom we learn. You may recall a recent newsletter topic of mine entitled “Have to vs. Get To” (If you want it, please email or call me for a copy). This is how we create ourselves to be the light. You GET-To: · Show interest in others by asking interested and interesting questions. Give. · Listen well, pay attention, and let others finish their thought before you speak. Give. · Make eye contact and if possible, squarely face the person with whom you are speaking. Give. · With differences of opinions or debates, replace making personal character attacks or sarcastic snide asides by stick to the facts at hand. Give. · Make a special point of remembering what may be important to the other person and bring it up. Give. · Find the best in others. Don’t gossip. It’s bad form, petty and provides others a poor opinion of how you value relationships. The images words create cannot be retracted. Find the best. Say ONLY the best. Give. · Speak your truth and be willing to hear others' truths. Your most valued relationships are likely those with whom you can be honest. Life is too short for the games people play. Increase your valued circle of friends by being as open and truthful with acquaintances as you are with close friends. When you come from love and a place within yourself of care for the other without attaching to being "right," you can anything. Give. · Don't assume you understand or are understood. Use your words. Give. · Read. Listen. Read. Listen. You never benefit from the book you don’t read, the cd's you don't use. Stay interested and curios. You will become more interesting with more perspectives. Give to yourself. · Do interesting and uncomfortable things all the time to gain a larger perspective of your world and to push yourself to think out of “the box.” Success happens outside the box. S-t-r-e-t-c-h. It's a Big Give to others and yourself. You are known by the relationships you keep. Who are you? Is that OK? The best way to predict the future is to create it. Act NOW. Whatever idea just came to you for you... Do Something NOW to move in it's direction. Make the call NOW. Get the help NOW. Be the person NOW. Please feel encouraged to share this newsletter everywhere. Warmest Regards, Barry Eisen Tel: 818-769-4300 Fax: 818-980-8181 BarryEisen@roadrunner.com www.BarryEisen.com 11684 Ventura Blvd. #747 Studio City, CA., 91604 What
Me Worry? Alfred E. Newman Don't Worry, Be Happy Bobby McFerrin Know anyone who can't stop worrying? When I was a young speaker, I had the privilege of traveling on a speaking tour with DR. Norman Vincent Peale and a few other prominent personalities of the day. He was a renowned author, the minister of a popular church in New York City, a great speaker and a wonderful thinker. Dr. Peale told a story that stuck with me these many years of bumping into one of his parishioners. George was obviously distracted and down in the dumps. Dr. Peale asked George the nature of the problem and if he could help. George just looked up and began a whole litany of problems and worries. Both men had a little time and together, they took a taxi to Long Island, arriving at a cemetery. Dr. Peale waived his outstreched arm over the sea of headstones and said "George, Here are thousands of people and not one with a problem or worry. Think about it. If death means you have no worries, it must mean that having worries means you're alive. In fact, with all the worries you have, George, you must be more alive than most. How fortunate for you!" This story can prove to be prophetic and empowering. The bigger the challenge, the bigger the opportunity. In business, the bigger the opportunity, the bigger the check. Worry is not caused by external events or situations, but by how we perceive those events or situations. Whether worry manifests as lethargy, ulcers, insomnia, headaches, poor work habits, lousy attitude, or gnat-like concentration, like most behaviors, worry is just a habit. And the good news is: Just as we learn a destructive habit …we can learn a constructive one to replace it. In essence, obsessive worries and less-productive mental tendencies can be improved and changed with replacement ideas and practice. In the process of working through things comes the growth that prepares us for more of life's mysteries. Einstein once said that "You can't solve a problem with the same mind that created it." Here are some constructive, LIFE-CHARGING thoughts. If any would serve you, start NOW. Never leave the time or place of an idea that excites you without doing something, no matter how small, to bring it to fruition. Make your list for tomorrow at the end of TODAY. Preparing for tomorrow at the end of today helps you rest well. The mind doesn’t have to spend the night thinking “Remember this and don’t forget that!” You wake up knowing how to start and where you’re going! Live one day at a time. Let go of yesterday and focus on your To-Do-List of today. If it was important from yesterday and incomplete, it’ll be on TODAY’s list. Keep your mind busy with the highest priority in the moment. Instead of figuring out why you are the way you are, stay on task knowing that you can only do one thing at a time. Consider the satisfaction you will feel when that one task is accomplished and then turn to your next. Of course interruptions will happen. When they do, ask yourself: Is the interruption or is the task at hand of HIGHER VALUE for THIS moment? (Most therapists don't try to figure out why a person is worrying; but will prescribe that a patient do something or learn something on which to focus positively. Learning/stimulating the mind can get a person out of their ego-centric predicament.) Take responsibility for your choices. You’ve weighed which task has highest priority for the moment. Make your positive and productive choice as to which activity gets your attention now and which is scheduled on the list. No matter how strong the influence, the choice is always yours. Allow yourself to risk. Enter enough. A friend of Nan’s had just won the grand prize on the American Chopper contest. When asked how he won, he laughed and said, “When the contest was announced, I ENTERED.” You’ve got to allow yourself to enter the game and know that you aren’t going to win every time, but you’re a winner by playing and playing your best. Enter enough! If worrying about losing stops you from entering, it guarantees a loss. Enter enough and you’ll find those places where you win. And as you enter enough, your skills get better. Make up for lack of skills, not by thinking about the lack, but with enough activity, Focus on what is right, the good, rather than on what is wrong. So much of the media focuses on disaster stories. Happy stories don't sell. Media stories appeal to the lowest common denominator of our interests. Don't go for the easy "take" or opinion of others. Consider the possibilities. Have you ever had your good intentions misread by others? Allow the benefit of doubt by seeing good in others. They are more likely to show you their good if they feel that availability from you. Don't listen to T.V. news before you go to sleep at night. Count the things for which you can be grateful (full of great-ness!) and sleep better. Delegate responsibilities. Do what you can, but let go of things before you become overwhelmed. If someone else can do a task only 80% of the way you would do it, but it gives you 100% of that time for other tasks which only YOU can do…you are 180% productive with that time. Life is too short. What parts are really worth your attention? Exercise. It's a great idea even though you may feel stressed about time and other preoccupations. The endorphins that reduce feelings of worry, fear, adrenaline production, also promote a more relaxed mind and body. Change your physiology. Stand a little straighter. Smile more (even if it's forced) lower your shoulders, get more eye contact, shake someone's hand with a grip that says you are glad to meet them. Show signs of life, energy, like you care. Soon you will experience easily what you first started doing with effort. Take breaks. Learn and do short (5-15 minute) periods of meditation, stretching or self hypnosis, proven to minimize mental fatigue, re-direct thinking to positive vision, and prompt productive, happy behavior. Worry is not caused by external events or situations, but by how we perceive those events or situations. But for those "Doubting Thomas" warriors who are reluctant to give up worrier ways, here is a great idea: On the top of a full size piece of paper, write the words WORRY LIST. When a worry comes to mind, instead of letting it interrupt what you are doing, take out this list and jot down the worry. Write the worry down so you don't forget it, just don't take the time to worry at that time. Keep accumulating your worries for one whole week. On Friday afternoon between the hours of 4:00-5:00 PM lock yourself up in a room alone and take out your worry list. Worry about everything on your list for that full hour. So, you haven't missed your self-made opportunity (choice) to worry, but you did it under your conditions, and wasted a lot less time. If this idea seems silly, it is… and it’s not. (You might be surprised at how many people with whom I've shared this thought, took it seriously and found great benefit.) Value yourself and those around you by not sweating so much of the small stuff… And as the wise man said, "I's ALL small stuff." Have a good life. When times are challenging, most companies and people cut back on training. This is a huge contributing factor as to why many companies and people don't do well when times are challenging. The 80/20 rule applies to companies as well as people because human nature is hard to rise above. Outstanding companies and forward thinkers, on the other hand, do what's right, not what's easy by learning new tools that will not only serve in the present, but prepare them to dominate in the future when changes (economies) shift. Call or email me to set a presentation for your office meeting, conference or convention. I promise a stimulating, interesting and immediately productive use of your time. I have a couple of COACHING times available for those who are serious about growing in business or personally and would like a one on one fast track experience. Call for a full explanation and no obligation "test drive" of a coaching session. Thanks for reading. Please pass this on. Warmest Regards, Barry Eisen Tel: 818-769-4300 Fax: 818-980-8181 BarryEisen@roadrunner.com www.BarryEisen.com 11684 Ventura Blvd. #747 Studio City, CA., 91604 March 2009
A Touch of Class You've heard the difference between the great and the mediocre is that the great are willing to do what the mediocre won't. The world is filled with talented people who will never fulfill their destiny because of a lack of consistency and/or focus. Whether we are speaking of sales people, moms and dads, managers, teachers, students or factory employees. Rising above the crowd (for those desirous) generally entails doing the little things that make huge differences. A good part of an athletic coach's job is to grind the basics so the athlete's best performance comes easily and often. Homework is designed to develop the muscle of grasping and using ideas for competency in test taking and real world application. The sales manager goes over "nuts and bolts" and role plays sales strategies so the salesperson develops the comfort and confidence. All of these rely on small actions dome, repeated, internalized until they feel "natural" and ideally, we function "automatically." Parenting and relationship classes explore, model and repeat until new new ideas feel like old habits. Therapists ask questions of clients to confront "sticking points" for that person to move on and function positively. Work reducing even major fears and phobias is done through confronting the fear minimally, yet consistently, in order to move through and beyond the fear itself. Little changes make huge bottom line differences. Be HERE now. Being in THIS moment is a not only a philosophical conversation point. It is THE core idea to get the most out of any endeavor. The world is filled with distractions that tempt our attention away, and give us the opportunity to choose to waste valuable time and resources. The last thing on which we focus is what drives our outcome. I often ask in class, "If you got dressed by yourself this morning, did you think about your day and dress accordingly?" Of course. You factored in all the meetings, the people, the places and then chose that tie, shirt, pin, bag. You might have even put on and changed your outfit a few times to get the right look or feel. If I am in front of you now, do I know the final decision you reached? Of course, I'm looking at it. It was your very last decision. And we dress ourselves not only with our clothes, but with our attitudes, with our chosen identity. When an athlete performs, you can see the mindset he or she is brings to the game. The same with a student in a classroom situation or sales people entering a presentation. And isn't it always the final decision that determined how the person carried themselves and the mindset they demonstrated? Here is an idea you can use to bring focus and excellence on almost as simply and effectively as turning on a light switch. The technique was developed over sixty years ago by Dr. Milton Erickson, one of the few outstanding people studied for effectiveness, eventually forming the foundation of information for Neurolinguistic Programming, NLP. The behavior was developed as a trigger mechanism (anchor) to create peak performance, on demand. Erickson's technique, as I teach it in my class, is to circle the thumb and forefinger of either hand, preferably with your eyes closed, take two or three deep breathes and repeat inwardly and silently how you are going to perform in the upcoming activity (in the best of terms.) Then simply open your eyes, relax your fingers and do with excellence what you have just prepared yourself to do. Hindsight is 20/20, so save the evaluation of your participation for later. The circling of the fingers is not a must. Any little physical gesture will do. If you do this before anything you would like to do especially well, you will not be disappointed as you see progress over the days and weeks ahead. You will now be more aware of your favorite sports celebrities doing little ritualistic gestures before an "at bat" or "free throw" or "teeing off" or when "breaking a huddle." These are techniques taught by me and other sports psychologists, and hardly any athlete would be without mental coaches in this highly paid and competitive world. The idea is to focus well in that last moment. Use this idea before a sales presentation, a golf game, studying or taking a test or ?? Here's why this is called an anchor and why it is a powerful tool. If you are doing my sessions, practicing yoga, meditating on your own or just taking some quiet time during your day, when peaceful and relaxed, touch your fingers together and silently tell yourself "each time I touch these two fingers together I relax and become focused and concentrated." As you use the technique throughout the day, your mind will conform to this "post hypnotic suggestion" by creating excellence on demand! The "Zone" is not some amorphous term used by athletes alone, but by anyone who learns a little mental discipline to release the body's endorphins for that edge that makes a difference. Do this for 3-4 weeks and be come aware and amazed at your results. Barry Eisen Tel: 818-769-4300 Fax: 818-980-8181 BarryEisen@roadrunner.com www.BarryEisen.com 11684 Ventura Blvd. #747 Studio City, CA., 91604 December
2008 BELIEF, the CORE for YOUR 2009 Consideration 1: Your business (your results) will never grow more than you do. So, how do we just GROW? It's a simple and subtle process with powerful effects. It begins with our personal BELIEFS. Core understanding: A BELIEF is a Feeling of Certainty. What do we believe about the capabilities of ourselves and
of others? What do we believe about the possibilities of ourselves and of others? What
do we really believe about our own deserving? For ourselves, these answers, our BELIEFS, are at the core of both our fears to dream and the
self-sabotage which limits the development of those dreams we dared declare. How often have we seen someone with less talent, less care or less knowledge,
simply pass us by and get the "gold" because they were willing to "do the DO" while we doubted ourselves
into mediocrity or failure through over analysis, over organization or procrastination? So why'd we hide?
Our BELIEFS convinced us in some way that we weren't enough. And for others, our Beliefs determine the extent to which we genuinely
support and encourage them to reach and fulfill their dreams and goals. Beliefs shape the messages we give our partners,
our colleagues, our friends, our children. These BELIEFS are also at the
very core of our very willingness to declare our dreams, and the courage to stretch for those DREAMS with a KNOWING that our
Dreams are a "Done Deal." BELIEFS shape our fears and dreams, our doubts and hopes, our actions and energy. Consideration 2: Copy Success. The easiest way to have success is to copy the BELIEFS
of those who succeeded before you. New
Years Resolutions are upon us. Is one of your core BELIEFS that no New Year Resolution lasts past 3 days? Are you among those who typically set New Years resolutions
(or business plans) with a deep knowing that eating won’t change, exercise won’t happen or remain consistent,
your business habits and results will remain the same or worsen, or that existing family relationships and challenges will
remain strained or stagnant? Or is it in your core BELIEFS that last year and every year
before, those who shifted their beliefs in any area by adopting beliefs of those more successful, changed their
habits based on those newly accepted beliefs, and as a direct result, changed their reality? Are you among those who
surround themselves with the support of stories of those who changed their bodies, their business, and their relationships
for the wonderful? Are you looking at how far we and others have come in order to inspire BELIEF so THIS YEAR is yours?
WHY NOT US, YOU, ME? Taking responsibility for our BELIEFS requires a willingness to see our own beliefs for both
the limits and support they provide and go for the highest. Activating these beliefs starts with surrounding
ourselves with them, focusing on them, and aligning our actions with their message. We go where we look.
To what people, books, cd's do you listen? With whom do you share a casual meal? Whose opinions do you
collect? It's interesting that most will note that their own income is the median of the 10 people they know best. So,
how do we increase our income, for example? Simple: surround yourself with the Beliefs and lessons of those more evolved
in your field. Same for tennis. Want to improve? Play with stronger players. Same with math. Same with everything. Consideration 3: Our Personal "WHY" is what awakens the willingness to
extend them and activate new BELIEFS. A WHY! is a goal, a personal vision. And when we choose to make our WHY a MUST, we create a reason to perform that is
so strong, such a burning desire, that we overcome all obstacles. We see yesterday's obstacles as nothing other than
steps in our goal's direction. Just like when working with a sales prospect, if you can find their “why”
or real motivation, the “how” or path to solutions, becomes apparent. When we allow ourselves to identify
our own deep WHY(s), we move from fear into solution. If FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real, a WHY causes Wonders
to Happen for YOU. Consideration 4: Relaxation and Visualization are the secrets of the Masters of every
age, science, industry, personal world. The greatest minds and bodies throughout history have acknowledged
these steps as the key to accomplishment. These steps help to identify and deepen our personal "WHY"
and to promote the personal courage, the fire within, to ignite our BELIEFS to SHIFT... and for us to easily GROW allowing
the reality of our dreams and goals, our WHY to manifest. 5 Simple Steps to Activating your BELIEF and reaching your WHY. 1. Sit back in a quiet time (you won’t FIND the time, you have to MAKE the time). 2. Imagine success, your "WHY," and how it will look, feel, sound, and taste when you've reached your vision and mastered it. 3. Be curious HOW, not curious IF. If you're overloaded at work and at home with a flight to catch tomorrow, KNOWING you'll be on that flight, no matter what, sets your focus in motion and next thing, your airplane seat belt is buckling. Believing is as easy as accepting that that flight will go with you on it, as easy as accepting that the sun will come up tomorrow. The HOW will show itself to you. Like traveling from the USA to Europe... you really don't have to know how to fly the plane, you don't know what conversations you will have... yet you fully expect, BELIEVE as you board, that you WILL end up at your destination 4. See yourself in MOTION in these ideas... doing what you would be doing in the way you would
be doing it when your vision is accomplished. The new reality is created BELIEVING that it's already done. What will
you be doing and feeling as a result of having made these changes that is different than what you have done to date? 5. Celebrate these successes in your mind as you would when they are done in your physical reality. This fuels the Belief that you CAN, you DESERVE and you fully KNOW and EXPECT. BELIEF, that simple feeling of certainty, accepts the accomplishment with ease, of your
WHY's. Applying BELIEF to make your ’09 the best year
ever: • The best way to
predict the future is to create it.
If you’re going to do anything, why not do something that will matter? Let your imagination soar. How much income would allow you to not just survive, but to
really live? Whose BELIEFS are shown, by their success, to have aligned with your income goals? Discover
their core BELIEFS and (provided they do not violate your ethical or moral positions), COPY THEM. What attitudes, habits and behaviors shape their actions? What would your body look and feel like if you did what you already know you
need to do? Whose BELIEFS are shown, by their success, to have aligned
with your physical goals? Discover their core BELIEFS and (provided
they do not violate your ethical or moral positions), COPY THEM. What attitudes,
habits and behaviors shape their actions? How would your ideal relationship appear? Whose BELIEFS are shown, by their success,
to have aligned with your relationship goals? Discover their core BELIEFS and (provided they do not violate
your ethical or moral positions), COPY THEM. What attitudes, habits and behaviors shape their actions? Copy their BELIEFS: I am of value. I CAN have. There IS enough time. I can smile first.
I do look forward. I learn easily. I enjoy following through. I have enough to give. I bring the best
and the highest to each moment. Most folks at the end of their lives regret far more of what they haven’t done than what they have. Create your life, NOW! • Plan out the time allocation and the baby steps to accomplish each goal by a specific due date. Time commitments create the sense of urgency and energy to stretch out and accomplish. “Success by the yard is hard, but it’s a cinch by the inch.” Organize your time and stick to your schedule. Not only will you get more done efficiently, but you will feel better about you than you ever have. You are important, treat yourself well. Become more deserving by accepting that you are and giving to what's in front of you now. • Surround yourself with a “mastermind group” of people who are committed to the same degree of business excellence (choose your support group well, this is not a personality contest, it’s your life). Get a serious exercise partner. Join or create a book club to read and discuss great people in history, new ideas in technology, fiction classics, sports or whatever. Reading and discussion will literally keep you young, vital, fun to be around and energized. • Learn to do what the best athletes, students and business personalities do. Take time every day to relax (the mind absorbs better when relaxed) and then to visualize clearly the end results you seek and to which you are committed. See yourself moving through actions with grace and ease. You move in the direction on which you focus. "Laws of attraction" do exist. This has been true your whole life. It is true now. In the parlance of “Texas Hold’em” its time to go “all in.” Make an impact. Own
2009. Thank you for your support, response, loyal reading and for using and sharing these ideas to grow yourself and others. Thanks for passing this on. From me and Nan,
our kids Erin, Jared, Andie to you and yours: We wish you the MOST Joyous, Healthy and Fulfilling 2009 and always, Warmest Regards, Coach Barry coachbarry@roadrunner.com www.barryeisen.com/id95.html Tel:818-769-4300 Fax:818-980-8181 11684 Ventura Blvd. #747 Studio City, CA 91604 There are many areas in which you may find my CD programs helpful. If your
New Years resolutions include growing your business, controlling your weight, organizing your time, stopping smoking, reading
faster and passing tests, dealing with stress, goal setting, selling, sports improvement, or developing your self esteem,
please do drop into my website. Browse around and get a feel for tools that can make a difference for you or someone
you care about. All programs are discounted through the remainder of "08. If being coached by me to grow your business or personal life sounds interesting, please do email or call me to set up a sample, no obligation, test drive of a session. I promise a powerful boost to start your New Year. Happiest and Healthiest Holiday Season and New Years to All, Barry Eisen Developmental Excelerations Inc. 11684 Ventura Blvd.
#747 Studio City, Ca. 91604 818-769-4300 fax 800-690-1460 www.develexcel.com barryeisen@roadrunner.com PS
The publication Personal Excellence is
an industry standard for motivational writings by the best in the field. PE periodically includes my
newsletters in their magazine. Of the writers featured for this coming January, I am honored to be among Barack Obama,
John McCain and Jim Rohn in the kick off 2009 edition. Some of these articles are extraordinary. Open the
attachment to see these life changing writers, thinkers and their ideas. Hope you enjoy! November 2008 Brainstorming (One brain plus one brain equals many more
than two brains) Einstein said, “You can’t solve a
problem with the same mind that created it.” If you're
blocked from a solution for a problem, chances are that your belief system created the block, and that some shift in consciousness
would be necessary to recognize this and fix it. These unsure times scream for different perspectives and mechanisms that move us beyond our old beliefs and limited
thinking processes. This thinking, outside that old box, empowers us to be a part of something positive and meaningful.
If we don't leave that box, we remain doomed to continue what has proven NOT to work. Doing what we know doesn't produce
results we want is an operant definition of insanity. Brainstorming, done thoughtfully, allows for outside the box thinking,
promotes camaraderie, loyalty, energy, synergy and creative, efficient problem solving. I’ve had the opportunity of
participating in of a variety of large and small company brainstorming sessions. Often these events become quickly dominated by the top producers or leaders. These are the “doers," generally perceived as the ones with
greater insight, having “been there and done that.” These sessions almost always have a “lean”
to the agenda. And, these are often the sessions with the poorest long term results. Without the safety net which welcomes
and encourages new or previously discarded ideas to be re-viewed from different vantage points; or without a an organization which provides an environment that allows its people the flexibility to turn on a dime, most "brainstorming"
sessions remain, regrettably, a stage for the expected. And yet, some sessions do shine. So, what makes some sessions spectacular and productive with long term positive effects and energized team members? Far beyond the temporary glow of a rally, a REAL brainstorm session which is both
can not only streamline old
paths, promote better communications, identify new solutions, but also spark enthusiasm and create team bonding in which common
goals become inspiring and exciting for all. Safety and welcome for each member can infuse care and excitement into a project and create
a sense of WIN for everyone along the path to that desired, increased bottom line. This
translates powerfully into building the company from its roots, its people, and into the next project by creating an environment
in which people look forward to work and succeeding in the, “company” of companions. Ideas for optimizing any brainstorm session: 1. 1. Create a relaxed atmosphere to
encourage participation, warmth and enthusiasm. 2. 2. A
facilitator (not the boss) should keep the group moving and on point with ideas written on a large board in the front of the room. 3. 3.There are no wrong or stupid ideas. 4. 4. Include and respect people
with different perspectives who will foster “outside
the box” thinking, especially those newest or the lowest levels invited. Those coming from other fields or departments
see things from a fresh vantage point. 4. 5. Banish laptops and blackberries- it’s too easy to hide behind note taking tools, distractions and
digital helpers. 6. 6. Put people on the spot - gently. Wallflowers suck
the energy out of a room. 7. 7. Keep the meeting short, preferably under one
to two hours. Creativity tends to come in short bursts.
Long meetings can be counterproductive as people can try too hard. 8. 8. Change the
venue or
at least the seating. The same seats tend to provide the same views, the same drivers. Change
the venue for follow ups. Think FUN, upbeat, camaraderie! 9. 9. Set regular
brainstorming sessions. It takes a while for some to express themselves comfortably, to recognize the
safety of this non-judgmental environment. Any
size organization can feel the effects of brainstorming, what Napoleon Hill’s refers to as the "Master Mind"
in, Think and Grow Rich. Form your own group of 3-10 people for a regular brainstorming
gathering. Pick an agenda and go at it. You will come up with ideas and solutions you did not have before your session. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Are You On Your Own? If you are a solopreneur and don’t have a staff, how about
joining with others, like yourself, who would contribute and benefit from a good, periodic brainstorming session? Poking your brains every once in a while is energizing and creatively stimulating. If you don’t have access to people with whom you would choose to brainstorm,
why not do it professionally? Coaching can support this goal. I am a business coach. I move extremely motivated realtors to higher levels in their business and personal lives for
greater wealth, health and peace of mind. I will encourage
you to be yourself, to expand your visions and stretch, to achieve your goals. We will brainstorm and use our "Master
Mind," our intuition, our creativity and expertise and skills for you to heighten your accountability,
effectiveness and comfortable balance. Call or email to set up your no obligation, sample, “test drive” telephone coach
session with me. This 20-30 minute session will show you
what coaching can do and do quickly. You are appreciated for reading and considering. Please pass on these ideas. Thanks. Warmest
Regards, Barry Eisen Developmental Excelerations Inc. 11684 Ventura Blvd. #747 Studio City, Ca. 91604 818-769-4300 fax 800-690-1460 www.barryeisen.com/id95.html October 2008 Are you treating your business like A BUSINESS (worth working)? Are you living your life like A LIFE (worth living)? The track records of the successful have been written and recorded, documented in every way imaginable. Seminars and sales meetings teach the principles of how fortunes are made by average people who have a plan and stay with it. What possible secret has not been revealed for creating passion, achieving wealth, health, status, balance, joy and exhilaration in life? How can we make the lessons run on automatic for us? The easiest way to have success is to copy the beliefs, behaviors (of course provided these are legal and don't violate your morals, ethics, values) and physiology of the successful. In business, it’s always been a curiosity that a huge percentage of professionals, with basically all the answers available to them, simply choose not to do what's proven, even if it's easy. They prove "What's easy to do is easy not to do." Teachers say set your vision, create your goals, develop a plan. We have learned to plan, to prospect, to manage time, to follow up, to breathe positivity. Yet until we internalize that teaching, we wish instead of plan, we procrastinate rather than act, we complain about others and the hand we're dealt instead of optimizing the moment. The successful say there are cycles, seasons. There will be winter and, yes, it will be followed by spring. Those who hear the words without internalizing the lessons never turn wishes to visions, put goals to paper nor map out their plan. Their easy summer is followed by a challenging winter and they forget there will be another spring. They wonder why they arrive today exactly where they were yesterday. In personal life, we see the perfect parallel. The life lessons are everywhere. A new book with a new title and the old lessons becomes the new best seller. Yet without internalizing all the simple, elegant "easy" lessons, the readers continue to make poor diet and exercise choices, to buy hope from infomercials only to let the products collect dust, and to allow personal pressure to mount from stinking thinking and negative perspective. And these ARE choices. Rather than copying the easy map for long range success: setting the goals and mapping them out for family, social and personal time, many yet again review their lives feeling guilt and emptiness. They lack quality time spent with family, friends or their own personal pursuits. They long for yet don't allocate time to exercise, read, pursue hobbies or just relax and refresh. Pharmaceutical companies are having a heyday providing fixes for those who feel overwhelmed by business and life. Feel stressed? Pop a quick-fix, feel-swell pill. But the pill wears off and the cause of the emotional pain is still there. We are given a huge list of extraordinarily dangerous side effects (swelling! fatigue! dizziness! impotence! death! argh, etc) with each pharmaceutical ad before a perky, confident voice offers, "Ask your doctor if you are a candidate." And enough run for that fix that the ad is profitable and the pharmaceutical stock is up. The lure of the quick fix, in spite of its danger, still causes droves to take the quick and chance the side effect, rather than do the long term "easy" and plan the success and learn to deal with stress. Where did we get the idea that stress was bad? There is no music from a violin until the string is pulled or pushed. It is the stress on the string that makes the music. Stress is the activity of life. It's "Stuff." It's opportunity. Not every stress is Over-stress. Not every pain needs medication. The survival of the fittest has always been nature’s way. Stir the pot every once in a while and watch what happens. The universe is impersonal. Challenges are created and those who are willing to step up usually rise to the top. Those who spend no time in whining and complaining, but focus on what needs to be done, follow intuition and instinct, create a vision and plan of action, stay committed and take creative risks focused on service are the ones who not only survive, but flourish. They come through every cycle (there always is a finish to every cycle) with accomplishments, maturity, the best stories over dinner, and are in position to take advantage of the next bull market. To invent the wheel again is not a wise use of time. Strategies and technologies on the face of business may make some cosmetic changes, but humanity hasn’t changed. The same basic approaches and personality traits still work and win. Our businesses and lives grow only when we do. For things to change and get better, we must change and get better first. To make your business worth working and your life worth living is all in your mind's choice. This
is the time to: · come from gratitude for who
you are, the skills and knowledge you possess, for whom and what you have around you, for where you are and for all the overt
and, so far uncovered opportunities. · celebrate
how far you've come. In the toughest of times we must diligently recognize our own accomplishments in the arena where
the challenges exist. Have you been more open, disciplined, patient, assertive, calm, appreciative? How are you
better now than before? · ask yourself
how you may serve. Providing enough to others of what they want will get you what you want. ·
develop a plan of action that forces you out of your ego-centric predicament of "woe is me" thinking. Stop
thinking about your problems by putting the emphasis on something you can DO, not just think about. The name of the
book by Napoleon Hill is "Think and GROW Rich" not "Think yourself rich.." ·
take baby steps. small changes create huge victories. Do something positive which contributes to your vision of the
future, every day. For many who only recognize what is negative or neutral, start acknowledging what you have done with
no judgment as to the "size" of its significance. Build on that. Horses win races only by a "nose"
and we remember them as 1st Place. · leave
your business day on a high. Don’t quit the day out of frustration or ambivalence. Make the extra call.
Prepare the report for tomorrow. Confirm tomorrow’s appointment. Get one more tidbit of information that will
help, etc. Just one more effort. Go home to your family and friends with a feeling of accomplishment.
They will feel it and reciprocate. · spend
quality time with your friends who are positive, supportive, up beat and moving forward. Choose your company carefully. And
when with those who spread cynicism and gloom, who swear they are "just being realistic, not negative;" be vigilant
to allow their negativity to be a "gift" for you - a reminder of how you could be. Allow their choices to remind
you that you have other options and be inspired to choose possibility and solution thinking. A cynic is one who knows
the cost of everything and the value of nothing. We are all, by our own choice, either part of the problem or part of the
solution. We may not change the naysayers, but we can control ourselves. Choose the interesting and stimulating
in yourself and in others. You don’t need to agree with others to share their passions and thoughtfulness and
be enriched by them. · read for your mind and
soul. Sure, it’s important to keep up with world events to be able to make informed choices in voting. Make time
for non fiction and fiction. Biographies, histories and motivational books inform and stretch your perspectives. Fiction
stimulates imagination, improves vocabulary and is a great stress reliever. Work on your Self. ·
take time off. To create the "good old days" as you will view them in just a few short years, plan to take
time off every week to switch gears and refresh. Vacations don't need to be expensive to be terrific. Even the
planning of time off can be experienced as time off. Make it time to enjoy the participants as decision makers (family/friends)
as you collectively communicate in quality time. ·
make daily time to relax/meditate/do self hypnosis/yoga/be still. You know it’s important. Just begin.
If it’s worth doing, it’s worth starting. No big or little. No good or bad. Just DO. This
is obviously a short list of what can be done proactively to be less the victim and clearly in control of your life in these
interesting times. What are the important issues for you? Write them down and bring them into your everyday life.
Once the resistance of creating a new habit is behind you, the new behavior is yours to enjoy forever. It's worth it.
You're worth it. For those wanting to set up a “test drive” of a coaching session with
me, send me an email or pick up the phone to set a 30 minute phone session. If you are looking for an “AhHa!”
or two, you will find the time more than interesting. The intuition, focus and creativity of you and me working to improve
your income, deal with fears, improve communications, make positive changes is what the session is all about. Please
pass this on. Warmest Regards, Barry Barry Eisen Tel: 818-769-4300 Fax: 818-980-8181 www.BarryEisen.com BarryEisen@roadrunner.com 11684 Ventura Blvd. #747 Studio City, CA., 91604 September 2008 HAVE-TO vs GET-TO The choice of words you pick to describe a task or event, colors the way you do it, the success you have with it, and the pleasure you derive from it. Think about the mindset that says “I have to make those calls. I have to do my homework.
I have to get organized.” When we “effort hard” by using will power to make changes and to get things
done; the more we do, the more resistance we can create. Likelihood is that doing something with a not-so-great attitude
will produce not-the-best outcome. Reframe the task by saying "I get to" and the previous experiences of those great
moments of anticipation and excitement shift our outlook, our physical and mental behavior. When we "have to,"
we slump, feel the energy drain, hide. When we "get to," we straighten up, look forward, make eye contact and allow
ourselves to enjoy the task. Why not pleasure? It's a choice. When we characterize something
as “hard” or “difficult” we associate the task with an element of discomfort that we hold as an idea
from our past. In reality, the thing to be done is simply: the thing to be done. We've never done it THIS TIME before. It's
new. If you've given the same presentation 1000 times, isn't this a new audience? This simple perspective creates new experience,
fresh task, an adventure. By holding to a past idea of a past experience (or someone else's experience or negative view!),
the old ideas conjured by such words as Hard or Difficult color what we are about to do. It is an attitude and a choice we
make. Consider Challenging, Exciting for the same act - and we gravitate with different posture and heightened expectation. If making contacts for your business (prospecting or lead generating) was always easy and fun, everyone would
be doing it. Many, with the best of intentions, don’t. With more doors knocked, appointments go up, sales
increase, financial stress is reduced and people generally have better health and emotional peace. This is about improving
the quality of life. This we all know. If your kids came home from school looking forward to
doing their homework, they would inevitably procrastinate less, do better in school, have less pressure and have more free
time to do things that interest them. We and they know this. If we dealt with the clutter that
surrounds us daily and kept our homes, offices and cars neat and orderly, how much high drama could we eliminate about losing
papers and keys and stressing over loose ends (to say nothing of sleeping better at night and experiencing greater calm)?
We know this too.. If you are getting tired of doing the same old dance, if you do these and other
similar tasks, but do them “kicking and screaming,” there is a better way. Life is too short to stay stuck
when there are positive options. It’s not hard, but it does take paying attention, making a shift and practice.
If it's worth doing, it's worth doing well. AGAIN (Say aloud this time) : The choice of words
I pick to describe a task or event, colors the way I do it, the success I have with it, and the pleasure I derive from it. Before doing anything that had previously been hard, difficult or uncomfortable, take a breath, lower your shoulders
and verbally tell yourself that you will do the activity well, and comfortably. Know that your thoughts and words, even
if contrived, make a definite difference in your outcome and sense of accomplishment. The breath and shoulder dropping
will become a physical anchor, and in a few weeks you will approach your tasks automatically this way and with better focus.
1. Do the activity with the mindset that when you look back, with the perspective of time, you will take pride in not just doing the activity well, but effortlessly, with class and style. If you were being watched by your kids, what message would your better attitude teach? Probably a great life lesson that you can control the way you handle your life. The feelings of how you did something will last far longer than the result of most actions you perform. 2. Practice seeing yourself in situations
you normally find distasteful or difficult and change the script in your head by seeing yourself enjoying whatever the event
is. If you rehearse this positive behavior in your head (especially in a state of relaxation where you experience less
mental chatter and resistance) it is inevitable that you will find yourself demonstrating this behavior in your life. Thoughts
are things! 3. Until this ease of performance becomes automatic, act "AS
IF" it already were. The more you show yourself what you can do rather than what you can’t, the faster and
easier the change of behavior becomes. Little changes (shifts in consciousness) make huge differences (performance.) I look forward to your feedback and success stories. Please pass this on.
If your office or organization could use a speaker with something positive, interesting and powerfull
to contribute, please consider me and get in touch. Thanks. Warmest Regards, Barry
Eisen Tel: 818-769-4300 Fax: 818-980-8181 www.BarryEisen.com BarryEisen@roadrunner.com 11684 Ventura Blvd. #747 Studio City, CA., 91604 August 2008 The Little Voice Inside Power Thinking: the Present of the Present When 4 year old Whitney was asked if she knew what the “little voice inside” was, she replied, “Oh yes, that’s the little voice that keeps going even when the outside one is talking.” In my classes, for those who don’t know what the 'little voice inside' is, I tell them "it’s the one that just asked, 'What voice'?” Consider: The present is not a result of the past. The past is a result of the present. In my classes, for those who don’t know what the 'little voice inside' is, I tell them "it’s the one that just asked, 'What voice'?” Consider: The present is not a result of the past. The past is a result of the present. Have you ever had a particular feeling about an experience - only
to have that feeling change after someone else, or time itself, gave you some other perspective or information about that
experience? It’s clearly not that the past has actually changed. The real change is in our present; in our present view of the past. It is the little voice inside (chatting in your NOW), that is interpreting and reinterpreting. Therefore it is in the present that we create and recreate the past. Great, so what does that have to do with personal power? Simple. Our internal voice is busily chatting to create the future just as it redesigns the past. It’s said that the vast majority of our worries (our own imagined, mental creations for future horrors) never materialize; but as the mind does not know the difference between real and imagined, those worries, though purely flights of fancy and imagination, steal our health, our joy, our lives just as surely as if they had happened in our physical reality. Personal power is about being in the real present and acting relative to this present's opportunities. This in no way indicates that we should ignore potential problems or fail to plan solutions. Rather, we turn our attention and action to those ideas, problems and solutions which are real and about which we CAN really do something. In the present we create the future with a thought. When our (the) inner voice silently whispers as we dial the phone, “Please, please don’t be home,” we have created a different feeling and level of personal power than had the voice reminded us, “I am loving and capable, ready to be the best I can with this contact.” The inner voice of the present creates a script for the future. That script of the moment determines how we behave. Exercise #1. To demonstrate how worthless most worry is: write a list now of everything that worries you. Mark it on your calendar to look at your list again in three weeks noting the present significance of your imagined written concerns. 1. Were they worth the time and concern? 2. How might that wasted energy, pain or time have been used positively? Exercise #2. Notice when you create a future picture for yourself or behavior (anytime from the next moment on). Be aware that you are creating yourself. If you like what you imagine, great. However, if you are not delighted with the future you are creating, then replace that image with what you DO want and would love to see yourself do and be. Caveat: After delivering the idea to an audience that, “You become what you think about,” my mom offered the quip that if these words were entirely true, I would have been a girl by the age of 15. (Beware the extremes of any reality... ) If the above ideas ring true for you intellectually, but you still haven’t found a way to integrate the understanding into your own reality, I offer you an opportunity for a test drive telephone coaching session with me. I move highly motivated realtors to higher levels in their business and personal lives health and peace of mind. Simply call or send me an email that you are interested in setting up a sample, no obligation, coaching session with me. I will then contact you to set a one half hour session from which you will benefit immediately. Keep doing what you've done and you keep having what you have. Want something different? Do something different to focus you on where you want to go. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Email or call me now. Simply call or send me an email that you are interested in setting up a sample, no obligation, coaching session with me. I will then contact you to set a one half hour session from which you will benefit immediately. Keep doing what you've done and you keep having what you have. Want something different? Do something different to focus you on where you want to go. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Email or call me now. Please pass this on. Thank you for reading and forwarding. Best Regards, Coach Barry coachbarry@roadrunner.com www.barryeisen.com/id95.html Tel:818-769-4300 Fax:818-980-8181 11684 Ventura Blvd. #747 Studio City, CA 91604 July
2008 So You Wanna Really LIVE?! Before I came to Los Angeles in 1970, my office was in the New York City, right in the Empire State Building.
Not for those years, nor for the 23 years prior that I’d lived in New York, had I ever been to the top of that major
American landmark in which I was sitting. My story is similar to many who live in places others make a destination:
While visitors are inspired to bring home enchanted stories of the place’s wonder, those in the midst of the wonder
take the marvel for granted. Intelligence is often measured by the quality of questions asked and the
use of the answers to make connections, better decisions and enlightened, clear choices. So what experiences and, even more
significant, what perspectives about those experiences, lead to the questions we ask that ultimately create our decisions
and therefore our lives? The questions are based on our personal and personally gathered, borrowed and collected experiences.
Taking the path of least resistance and doing the “same old, same old,” can be a lazy,
conforming way of growing older without growing. Oscar Wilde offered, "Most men go to their graves with their music still
in them." When we ask someone the question, Hi, what’s new? What’s going on? The answer most
of the time is, “not much.” For most, that is the correct answer. So, imagine how
lives are limited when the connections, possibilities and answers that come are based on questions stemming only from habit
and conformity! When we travel the same routes, eat the same foods, stay in our same social groups, listen to the same music,
vacation in the same places, do our business the same way, buy into others’ complaints, etc.; how much growth do we
experience, fun do we have, knowledge do we gain about ourselves and others? People spout, “Seeing is believing,”
when the truth is “Believing IS seeing.” When we come the same way, with the same expectations, although
the opportunity may be entirely new… if we have a habit of particular expectation, we can walk away thinking we’ve
seen the same old thing even though the evidence denies it? How do we contribute locally and globally with limited or yesterday’s
perspectives? The news is that today is NEW. How can we make the shift to see today as new, make new questions to get those
new connections and really LIVE? Consider the stories we tell our kids and others that make our eyes
widen, our voice and excitement raise and get the juices flowing? These stories are usually those of inspiration and
testimony – of interesting people, events and travels outside our normal comfort zone. They are the images from
our own experience or from book, film or friend, of the new food, the different character, the unique journey, the “road
less traveled.” To bring new energy into your life doesn’t mean you have to make radical changes. If you are feeling flat, can’t seem to get out of your own way, look back and wish you had the passion and energy of times gone by, here are some things to consider: • Go to your office or school
using a different route. Pay attention to stores, playgrounds, the feeling in the neighborhoods, the trees, architecture,
flowers and people. You'll find a new story every day creeping into your conversation. •
Go to one local landmark in your area and learn about what makes it special. What stories you'll have. • Make it your intention to develop a new friendship with a person different from those with whom you are already comfortable. Serendipitous meetings with an open and curious attitude are the cause of business and personal development. • Break your normal evening routines. Take a walk. Drop in on a friend. Begin a new hobby or project. • Go to a concert or event about which you have little information. Take a chance. Feel the energy of stimulating your senses. • Get eye contact and smile at everyone you meet. Watch how more interesting people (and you) become. • Read a different kind of book. If you don't read, pick something up and commit to reading it through in a certain time frame. Hate it? Don't do it again. Love it? Big win for you. Keep up the good work. (It was one particular book I read about 20 years ago that started me reading a book per week ever since.) • Start asking more questions. Using your ears and mouth in direct proportion to that which you were given can cause many a great "AHA!" • Commit to volunteer work. Donate blood on a consistent basis. Become a pen pal, a Big Brother or Big Sister. Give some time to your house of worship or cause. • Spend just 5 minutes per day being quiet, in gratitude, for what you have, the people in your life and the opportunities you have to make you and your world better. These are just some hints to shift perspective and live life more fully. I’ll
bet you know some things you could start right away that would make a difference for you. How long have you known these
things? Kahlil Gibran wrote, "To know yet not to do, is to not really know." Choose one or two. Begin. Better than that, pick out some, do them, and in about 2-3 months, ask yourself if these things make you feel
more alive or not. If not, in the immortal words of Gilda Radner’s Emily Latela, "Never mind!” Pick
others. If yes, what a find! These are steps to building your own life by your own choice. And
so, as I teach others, I also choose to reinvent the things I do and the way I do them. Over the years
I have been asked to follow up with many of you to help keep you focused and to continue to be a support for you. It
started with ongoing programs and lectures, this newsletter, CD programs, private sessions and writings. And now, I am both
grateful and excited about my affiliation with Coach Training Alliance and am offering you this extremely insightful, inspiring
and valuable service. Coachingis a co-creative relationship between the two of us that is designed
to keep you moving ahead by setting goals, creating new skill sets, planning, strategizing, and creating options and suggestions
to create awareness and to catalyze your solutions. The bottom line is to make your business and your personal world
work better. If you have been through my classes or seminars, you know who I am and what I bring.
If you are serious about growing in business and/or personal areas, even if you are not a grad of my program, I offer you
a "test ride" of this powerful vehicle. Just call or email me to set a time to talk. Your time will
be well spent. Please understand that my schedule is limited and will be filled on a first come basis. You
are valued and always appreciated. Please pass this on. Thanks for your time and thoughtfulness. Warmest Regards, Barry Eisen Tel: 818-769-4300 Fax: 818-980-8181 www.BarryEisen.com BarryEisen@roadrunner.com 11684 Ventura Blvd. #747 Studio City, CA., 91604
June
2008 GO! SET! READY! In our race for success, all too often the countdown becomes, Go! Ready! Set! Instead of Ready! Set! Go! While strategic planning is almost always a requisite for a successful start for a new business, acquiring good study skills to become a top student and sharing a vision of the future a good idea to begin an enduring quality relationship, look at the statistics of failed businesses, mediocre students and broken marriages that occur in the face of these obvious truths. With all the good information available, why the failures? For a part of the answer I’m suggesting that instead of following our reflex feelings, many times we over think situations. Paralysis by analysis. Conversely, have you ever had an impulse to do something, but talked yourself out of it? Such as buying a stock, making a career change, making a follow up phone call to a person you just met, becoming silent when you had an opinion to express, missing a concert performance everyone is now still talking about. Of course these things happen frequently to everyone. Some years ago my wife, Nan, and I spent a couple of months traveling through India. Some of this time was spent in an Ashram, where many highly respected teachers from all over the world had come to teach various disciplines, programs and philosophies. We were excited about all the options and possibilities. Like a kid in a candy store, I sat with the coordinator of activities, trying to pick the events in which I wanted to participate. I remember him looking me in the eyes and saying calmly; “Don’t just do something, sit there.” What a concept! Go with your impulse. That simplicity and truth for me, at that time in my life, was an epiphany that still stays with me. It is a basic concept that I have heard repeated in many ways for many purposes. Slow down; become aware of your instinctive, inner, gut feelings. Your inner, gut reactions probably don’t happen in your gut. They take place in the primitive part of your brain (or probably, as Deepak Chopra writes, in every cell in your body). In the book, Blink, Malcolm Gladwell, after giving some very compelling evidence developed from the research of a psychologist by the name of ApDijksterhuis, gives the suggestion that, “On straightforward choices, deliberate analysis is best. When questions of analysis and personal choice start to get complicated--when we have to juggle many different variables—then our unconscious thought processes may be superior.” This goes against conventional thinking that says we regard our snap judgments as best on immediate trivial matters. So how do you get in touch with this mystical magical internal influence? How do you read those feelings and impulses? Every nationality has a language that millions of people recognize and speak. Poker players read the body language of opponents to get a “sense” or "feel" for whether the other player is bluffing or has the goods. The body has a language that bio feedback instrumentation can read (body temperature, blood pressure, heart beat, sweat production, etc.) And there are techniques (internal language or communication) that put our minds into a place where sensitivity to internal instinct can be understood. We’ve all heard that we may use as much as 10% of our brain. Here’s how to use more of it. To engage that part of your brain, you must quiet the noise of judgment and conscious thinking by relaxing and letting your mind become as mindless as possible.
There are lots of techniques that engage the subconscious for decision making, memory, improving sleep and energy, changing habits and attitudes, managing pain, improving sports performance, enhancing health and vitality and so much more. Check out my website for programs at discounted prices that can make a real difference for you or those you care about. Office or company need a speaker? Give me a call or email. Have ideas, will travel! Please do pass this on. Thanks. Warmest Regards, Barry Eisen May 2008 What Do You Do When It’s Just Not Working? When you have done all the planning, your goals are clear, written down, broken down to the specific actions to be taken to achieve them, you have a detailed To-Do list to die for each day, you have been consistent in your follow up/through and you’re still not getting the desired results—what to do? I know it’s a cliché to say that resistance makes you stronger and moving through the struggle is a character builder (aren’t you tired of building character?) Over the past many years of speaking and teaching personal development classes in the business world, I periodically get asked the question,” I’ve really worked long and hard at (fill in the blank) and I’m not getting anywhere, what do you think I should do?” While I have always had the approach of, “Don’t should on me and I won’t should on you,” when asked an opinion I will offer one that I feel is appropriate. Here are a couple of thoughts whose timing may be right for you or someone you know. These ideas are applicable to those whose relationships are not working, students who are not doing well, people who are sick and tired of being sick and tired about being over weight or out of shape and for those having a hard time justifying staying in their sales businesses. 1.) Rather than starting off with a plan of action, answer these questions first: “Over the last 6 months have I been more or less giving in our relationship?” Have I been buying into the negativity and small mindedness out of spite and retaliation?” Or—“Have I been honestly allocating the right amount of time for my school work? Am I allowing my friends to distract me from what I know I need to be doing?” Or—“Am I feeling badly about myself and letting poor eating be my satisfaction? Am I punishing myself by not being more physically active and making excuses to justify being sloppy, lazy and out of control?” Or—“Am I not contacting enough people to make enough presentations that will matter? Am I allowing myself to be sabotaged by the negativity around me so I lose focus during my work time and waste time doing things that just don’t matter? In other words, am I approaching what I need to do with integrity and passion or, in all honesty, have I been really only going through the motions?” In answering these kinds of questions, be honest with yourself. For most, the answer is, “I could be doing something a little or a whole lot better.” But, if the answer is “No, I couldn’t do anything better or even differently," read the handwriting on the wall and do something else. Get out of the relationship, change your major, find a therapist or at least a personal trainer to get you going, or leave your business, since the chances are that you are doing nothing good for yourself, giving your manager all kinds of grief, plus your office could use your space for someone else. The doughnuts at the weekly meeting aren’t worth the time you are wasting that could be doing something real for you. But, if there is room for improvement--- 2.) Give yourself a 6 month period of time to devote yourself to either making it or quitting it. Within 6 months you can make stronger commitments to become a better partner a (better listener, kinder, caring) in a relationship, develop better study and test taking habits and be a great student (spending the right amount of time in homework in a real study environment), get in shape and get your healthy body back (modify eating habits a little and do something physically active each day), and create business on a consistent basis about which you can feel proud (make relationships with big producers and find out how to play the game to win). If you put your ALL into it, you may walk away anyway, but you will walk away on your terms and feel good about your next involvement. You will go in the direction you are looking. 3.) Set goals that will stretch you out. The tendency for most is to lower expectations when they are not doing well. If you have had a difficult time just doing average or less, just maybe you have been going through the motions, as most do (note that the 80/20 concept is based on well intentioned people doing things in a rather lack luster way) by thinking in terms of mediocrity. Don’t settle for less because you have been achieving less—that’s a big part of the problem. Your relationships, scholastic success, physical health and business will only grow when you do! Set and keep your goals high and worthy of you. Respect yourself and your abilities and set goals that will inspire and motivate you to grow. Overcoming resistance brings success and strength of character. Look up, not down. Pennies are in the street, great joy, wealth and fulfillment are in the vision. You will go in the direction you are looking. 4.) Act as if you had accomplished your goals/dreams. I’m not talking about being arrogant or boastful, but think how you would be in a wonderful relationship if it already existed. Act that way NOW. As a top student, how would you prioritize your work load, approach tests, select classes that take you into your future? Act that way NOW. How would you eat, exercise and feel your personal power and energy if you were already through the process? Act that way NOW. As a business success, who would you spend your time with, how would you use your time, how would you talk, think, dress and act, where would you vacation, what would your lifestyle be as a financially free entrepreneur? Act that way NOW. The Laws of Attraction work for everyone. Expect them to work for you NOW. I hope these thoughts were of interest and value. Please do consider my CD programs (discounted through the end of May) as tools for specific help in areas of need/challenge or simple curiosity. I’d love to speak at your company meeting, conference or convention. Contact me directly for details and dates. Please pass this on. Thanks. Warmest Regards, Barry Eisen www.BarryEisen.com April 2008 Show Up! Pay Attention! Act Now! Ever felt stuck? You know what to do, you know you’ll do it well, but you just can't seem to get out of your own way. Paralysis by analysis has destroyed the best of intentions and cost the most brilliant their success. Ever see yourself passed by someone with a fraction of your ability, talent, and caring …and then notice their accomplishments exceeded yours only because they were “there,” being in action while you thought about getting “there” and into action? The world is filled with talented, well intended people. The world doesn’t care about talented people with good intentions unless they are willing to SHOW Up, PAY Attention and Take ACTION decisively in the first appropriate moment. Certainly the planning and the execution of that plan are two separate things. Whatever distractions we have available to us as excuses for self-sabotage (are we grown up enough to admit that?); the skill of consciously directing our attention to that goal, that WHY? that Plan can get us back on track, fully in ACTION. Paying attention and being vigilant that we are to reach that goal, with a “no matter what” attitude, encourages us to also pay attention to those distractions which we might otherwise use as excuses to keep us from the required action. Of all the talented students, athletes and business people I have had the pleasure to know; it is the most successful who not only begin their journey with a clearly defined plan, but who also continue to execute that plan with great focused attention, urgency and consistent action. Your having a clear reason, a “WHY?” to reach your goal, along with that clear plan helps keep a positive focus on decisions with which you’ll be faced and choices you’ll need to make. The most successful develop the habit to choose to take action NOW. To repeatedly answer your inner mind’s question, “Shall I make the call now or later?” with a clear “NOW,” helps fulfill the promise that 50% of success is simply showing up. In keeping with the KISS, Keep It Simple (Sweetie or Stupid) principle, I offer the following:
I would love your feedback on the above…or on any other topic of related interest. Please pass this along to your family, friends and business associates. For support in these areas and more, do check out my programs. They represent practical approaches to making positive changes in your life more easily and efficiently and quite economically. For me to speak at your office meeting, conference or convention please call or email my office for details. Thanks for being there. Warmest Regards,
Barry Eisen
Active
Vision Active Vision There is at least one person you know, right now in your life, whom you admire for having vision and for following through with that vision. He or she is probably an individual for whom things turn out right most of the time. This is the person to whom others listen, not just because of his or her success, but because he or she always seems to have the best, most energizing experiences to share. This person has magnetic draw and is viewed as interesting, exciting, often fun and charismatic. The vision used to succeed is not just being open to others’ ideas for development, or having a great momentary AHA!; it is first, perception with imagination, and then, taking Whatever-It-Takes action to make that vision a reality. Clearly, there is risk in following a dream. Chances are this person encountered and solved more problems than most. Most people find resistance uncomfortable, so don't persevere. They shy away from resistance and end up justifying the fear and laziness. Conformity and mediocrity are their rewards. Whether plucking a violin string to make music or doing reps in the gym, the only way to grow and create our life as our own personal music, is to push against resistance. So, along the way of fulfilling the vision(s), those whom you admire for their vision experienced personal growth. They weren’t necessarily more inspired than others at the onset of an idea, they simply held on to their vision to use the inspiration as motivation to do the perspiration…and get the job done. They chose to see problems as challenges, stepping stones, part of the process, even interesting. Simply, they solved more problems. The good news is that a number of successful characteristics can be recognized and duplicated, and vision can be developed with practice. Here are some ideas on how to use your imagination and power of belief to develop your vision.
Please pass this on. Thanks.
Barry Eisen Developmental
Excelerations Inc.
The "L" Word (Leadership)
Our world is where our ATTENTION is. Thinking from within past experience while in new arenas limits us to past results, missing the moments, missing the magic. Think globally and act locally and your actions make a difference from your desk.
What level of attention does it take to make a child smile, a worker put forth a better effort, a student strive for excellence, a sales person go for the big rewards, an Olympian go for the gold? The world is filled with talented people who, in many cases, never share their gifts because they lacked a small bit of encouragement. It takes the ATTENTION of one Leader, dropping ego, pride, and arrogance to focus on the potential or ability of another. It takes only the (leadership) encouragement of the parent, the boss, the teacher, the sales manager, the coach. How much better would we all be if we were challenged and stimulated to bring out the music within us, and to encourage others, with consistency, to do the same?
Haven't we endured enough dirty political campaigns, empty lives lived like soap operas, gossiping about others, focusing on the neutral to negative? What can we do to make a positive difference? Kahlil Gibran said in The Prophet, "He stands tallest who helps another man up." Here are a few THOUGHTS about standing tall and feeling complete.
Here are some easy things to DO:
The person who works only for money is usually the person who has little. The person who only talks on and on is usually the person with the least to say. The person who keeps his gifts to himself is usually the one with the least satisfactions. WHY NOT share more of your gifts and make an even greater difference? I promise to do my part.
Warmest Regards, Things I have Learned at the Gym
Like some of you, I have been a “gym rat” my entire life. Going to the gym at least five days per week whether I’m in L.A. or out of town is simply what I do. Here are some observations I’ve made. Even if you don’t exercise (What?!), see if these work for you: Gym: Mental Preparation- Have a better attitude before you begin and you will have a better workout. Endorphins make the miles go faster and the weights lighter. Life: Mental Preparation- Going into a selling presentation or a college test with a positive anticipation allows the memory to work better and to perform at higher levels. Gym: When someone is using a mirror for focus or to see their posture, have the courtesy to not walk between them and the mirror and break the train of thought. Life: When someone in the office is “on a roll” or a friend has created a great relationship, be supportive or at least get out of the way and shut up. Gym: Use a towel to clean the bench after you have left your sweat on it. It’s your responsibility. Life: When you make a mistake, apologize. It’s the right thing to do. Gym: Re-rack your weights when you are done with them. Don’t leave your mess for someone else. Life: When you make a mess, clean it up. Why should someone else have to see or deal with it? It’s your job. Gym: Keep the loud grunting sounds to a minimum. Life: Keep the loud grunting sounds to a minimum. Gym: When lifting, focus on the muscles you are isolating. Concentrate and see them and feel them exerting. Life: Be in the moment. Contentrate on what you're doing. Pay attention. Gym: Spot the person who asks for help. That doesn’t mean lift the weight for them. It means let them exert themselves to their maximum and add your gentle vocal and physical support to allow them to grow. Life: Show the way if you know it, but let the discovery, wonder and growth be experienced by the other—for everyone's sake. Gym: Read the body language of the other person. Get a sense of whether he or she is moving quickly and is time constrained and less conversation would be appropriate. Be attentive to the whole picture. Life: Read the body language of the other person. Because more communication is non-verbal than spoken, add your senses and instincts to see, "hear" and feel an experience or encounter. This is not to say make assumptions, but rather, to prompt you to ask a clarifying question if you find a difference between the words you hear and the message you feel. Gym: At the time you are experiencing the greatest muscle exhaustion, you are gaining the greatest results. Stay with it a little longer. You can lift and do more with more ease the next time. Life: When you're frustrated and feel you are at the end of your patience or abilities, stick with it a little longer, dig a little deeper, look "outside the box" for other options. That's where the greatest lifeskills are grown. You'll handle more and more easily without feeling the stress the next time. Gym: Vary your workout routine evry 4-6 weeks by using barbells, dumbbells and machines to keep up mental interest and to develop greater strength by stimulating muscles from different angles. Set goals of accomplishment. Life: Plan to periodically learn something new, go someplace interesting or set goals that are bigger than your present abilities to create an interesting life and to force your own personal growth. Take a risk once in a while. Interesting people do interesting things and are generally more fun to be around. Gym: Pay your dues and get your money’s worth. Make your time count. Life: Show up, pay attention, take positive action every time. Make your life count. Gym: Take a shower! Life: Take a shower! Thanks for the reading. I hope you have enjoyed. Please do pass this along. If it is time for me to re-do your personalized CD, or if you are interested in finding out about a personalized session done for you on CD, please give me a call or email for details. Or take a look at proven and effective programs that may be right for you or someone you care about.
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Developmental Excelerations Inc.
phone 818-769-4300 fax 818-980-8181
barryeisen@LA.twcbc.com